Modern societies need specialists in certain fields, but not others. Some people therefore think that governments should pay university fees for students who study subject that are needed by society. Those who choose to study less relevant subjects should not receive government funding. Would the advantages of such an educational policy outweigh the disadvantages?

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The public confronts a moot issue that the state is obligated to fund university academics who study in certain fields that are demanded by the public,

while

Linking Words

others are not eligible for scholarships and grants. Even if it benefits the community and certain individuals, what will happen in the future is not guaranteed. In my opinion, the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. First of all, funding scholars who choose to study in demanded fields can benefit the nation. After scholars graduate from the institution they will come to society to improve its weaknesses and empower it with their knowledge.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, not only it

helps

Wrong verb form

help

show examples

the public but

also

Linking Words

individuals. There are many teenagers who wish to acquire higher education but

due to

Linking Words

their financial restrictions can not continue studying. To cite the status quo in developing countries as an example, high schoolers try to achieve scholarships to study in developed

counties

Correct your spelling

countries

show examples

to widen their knowledge and view simply to help their country prosper and live with happiness.

However

Linking Words

, there are situations when learners who have completed their studies choose a career in another field.

That is

Linking Words

because some realize that the chosen path was not for them later in life. Another reason why

this

Linking Words

educational policy is disadvantageous is

due to

Linking Words

the fact that the future demanded careers might

modify

Wrong verb form

be modified

show examples

. With the advancement of technology, some careers are declining. Scientists are inventing robots that can do simple things like housework, counting and many more.

For instance

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, many developed and famous companies have automatic systems for counting their details so that they no longer need accounts. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

the educational policy is beneficial for individuals and society to a certain extent,

this

Linking Words

policy has drawbacks

such

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as the funded students working in different careers and the needed specialist in certain fields could change. For these reasons, the negatives outweigh the positives.

maral.batsuren2582Sun Nov 13 2022

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task response

Your essay provides a complete response to the task with clear and comprehensive ideas. However, ensure that your introduction and conclusion effectively present the main points of your argument.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay demonstrates a logical structure and supports your main points adequately. Work on presenting a more cohesive introduction and conclusion to effectively frame your argument.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

310 words

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