In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Some people think it is a brilliant idea and brings a lot of benefits to young students; others, however, deny. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Although
it is sometimes thought that it is an excellent idea that teenagers
are getting
Wrong verb form
get
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jobs when they are still in
schools
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school
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or
colleges
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college
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, other people do not have a positive notion regarding
this
. In my opinion, I feel that working in the early days of life has a huge amount of advantage for young pupils. On the one hand, teenagers who are working and studying at the same time would have many benefits
according to
some and I agree with them.
To begin
with,
adolescent
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an adolescent
the adolescent
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who
are
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is
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working alongside studying will have lots of knowledge at
their
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an
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early age.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
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will help them to compete in the
job
market because nowadays every company wants to hire employees with experience and
for
this
reason, those learners with experience will have an upper hand over other
job
candidates. A recent
study
showed that 75% of American companies recruit almost all of their employee with past work-related expertise.
On the other hand
, it is often believed by other people that school-going
students
should apply themselves to their
study
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studies
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rather than getting jobs. Studying side by side with doing a
job
can be a massive distraction for
students
.
In other words
, they have to work for a certain period every day.
As a consequence
, they might not get Sufficient time for
study
which will eventually reduce their grade, and it is one of the main causes of depression among
students
. I remembered,
for example
, that one of my cousins was incredible in his
study
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studies
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but as soon as he started to do a
job
his
overall
grades were decreasing. In conclusion,
while
people may vary in their options, I think that young
students
will prosper in life if they gain working knowledge when they are still pupils.
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task response
Ensure that all aspects of the prompt are addressed in the essay and provide a clear opinion in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a logical structure throughout the essay, linking ideas coherently and using appropriate transition words.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and varied word choices to enhance your expression.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure, grammar, and punctuation to ensure a more accurate and varied use of language.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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