IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Nowadays, many people prefer to seek medical advice on the Internet instead of seeing a qualified doctor. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or a negative development?

#people #advice #internet #doctor #development
With
soaring
Correct article usage
the soaring
show examples
 development of
Correct your spelling
information
informantion
Correct your spelling
information
 technology, the
internet
 plays an important role in our daily lives.
As a result
, some people prefer to search for medical advice online, while
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
 believe it is unhelpful to gain
such
 information on the
internet
. In my opinion, providing
general
Add an article
the general
show examples
 public with trustworthy medical
suggestion
Fix the agreement mistake
suggestions
show examples
 online will be beneficial to improve the quilty of the whole medical care system. On the one hand, it is
Correct your spelling
true
sure
ture
Correct your spelling
true
 that there are
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
plenty of online platforms that provide medical advice,
most
Correct word choice
but most
show examples
 of them are not written by professional doctors.
Therefore
 there are high
Correct your spelling
possibility
posibility
Correct your spelling
possibility
 of spreading
Correct your spelling
misleading
mis-leading
Correct your spelling
misleading
 information. And if a patient
receive
Change the verb form
receives
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
incorrect information and follow the
Correct your spelling
wrong
worng
Correct your spelling
wrong
 treatment, it would bring some side effects or even escalate the problem.
For instance
, removing a
wrat
Correct your spelling
wart
write
 at home,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
might lead
a
Change preposition
to a
show examples
serious infection, excessive bleeding and
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 medical emergency. When problems like these happened, no one could
held
Change the verb form
be held
hold
show examples
 accountable for the risks but the
patients
 themselves.
On the other hand
, owning to the
internet
, the public is well aware of
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 common medical disorders and preventive measures. A rational and prudent individual should have the ability to decide whether to get
professional
Correct article usage
a professional
show examples
Correct your spelling
diagnosis
diagosis
Correct your spelling
diagnosis
 in
hospital
Add an article
a hospital
the hospital
show examples
 or handle it at home. And if
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
patients
 with wild diseases could solve it by themselves
instead
 of going to
hospital
Add an article
the hospital
a hospital
show examples
, it would reduce the workload of doctors so that doctors can help other
patients
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 real needs.
Besides
, if
patients
 have some basic knowledge of their current situation, which will have them make better decisions.
For example
, when it comes to choosing the best
Correct your spelling
hospital
hopital
Correct your spelling
hospital
 and doctor to give them the most effective treatment. In conclusion, I believe it is positive for the whole healthcare development if the
patients
 can receive
reseaonable
Correct your spelling
reasonable
 and useful medical advice
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
 the
internet
.
Submitted by chenjiani0221 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!