Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, many processed foods and drinks are rich in
sugar
, leading to dire consequences for our health. Some
people
take the view that in order to reduce
sugar
consumption, sugary
products
should be more expensive than they used to be. I completely disagree with
this
idea and
this
essay explains my reasons. One reason why I think it is not a good idea to
increase
the
prices
of
food
containing
sugar
is that
sugar
has its own advantages for our body like other nutrients. In fact, our body requires a certain level of
sugar
every day to
increase
our energy in order to do our daily routine, implementing a tax on these types of
food
or other measures to
increase
their
prices
cause
people
not to satisfy their body needs for
sugar
, especially poor
people
, leading to severe headache and lack of energy for doing their daily task.
Additionally
, increasing the
prices
of sugary
products
can
increase
the risk of going bankrupt in the
food
industry. As a substantial portion of their profits comes from sugary
products
. if they cannot offer affordable
products
, they won't gain the market share and customers will take their business
elsewhere
, resulting in economic challenges for those related to the
food
industry in the country.
Although
some
people
believe that increasing the
prices
of sugary
food
can impose a financial burden, forcing them not to purchase these foods,
this
may be true for the lowest-income group,
while
middle and high-income individuals continue to purchase them. In conclusion, I believe that increasing the
prices
of sugary
food
not only poses economic challenges for a country but
also
contributes to decreased energy levels among its citizens. rather than solely relying on taking, raising awareness about health is more effective.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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coherence cohesion
While your essay maintains a clear and logical structure, there is room for improvement in coherence and cohesion. Try to use more transitional phrases and linking words to make your points flow more smoothly from one to the other.
task achievement
You have made a good attempt to fully address the task, and your ideas are clear and mostly comprehensive. However, the essay could benefit from more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, you could include statistics or studies related to the impact of high sugar consumption or the economic consequences of increased prices.
task achievement
Your essay would benefit from a little more nuance. While you have stated your opinion clearly, it would be useful to address counterarguments in more depth. This can help make your argument stronger and more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which are important elements of a well-structured essay.
task achievement
Your main points are well-supported and relevant to the topic, indicating a good understanding of the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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