Just like the government spends funds on music and theatre, it does the same on arts too which is considered a waste of money. Don’t you think that the government should spend more on revamping public services? Do you agree? If no, then why?

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Introduction

Nowadays, people argue that a lot of government subsidies are spent on performing arts, namely music, drama and arts, which can rather be used for the betterment of the services offered to individuals.

However

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, in my ,opinion theatre and art should be considered a crucial part of society as it brings out the creative side of artists in order to retain the culture and history of the nation.

Body paragraph 1

To begin

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with, creative workers use their skills to beautify a simple thing that can revamp a minimal place. Paintings, sculptures and drawings bring charm to the surroundings which lift up the mood and behaviour of many people. They have made a massive contribution to restoring the historic paintings and heritage of the great ancestors.

In addition

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Change preposition

apply

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Correct pronoun usage

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, there are several humans who have a profound interest in visiting art galleries and museums to praise the exquisite art forms that are usually aided by governing authorities.

Furthermore

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, it has been proven that entertainment mediums

such

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as drama clubs and music concerts are assets to us.

Body paragraph 2

There are several other benefits

too

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apply

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to sponsoring the above as it is an excellent opportunity for youngsters with a similar passion who can excel in

this

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field and can earn a fortune for themselves. There are some children who are not academically gifted but find peace and solace in creating magic on canvas, taking part in role-plays and becoming affluent singers.

For instance

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, music is termed as a therapy for the majority of the population and declutters our minds and

soul

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souls

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Moreover

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, in many states,

this

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activity has been considered a recreational method for those struggling with mental health. Many adults enjoy it as part of their weekend routine where they can indulge themselves in these activities by taking a break from their mundane routine.

Conclusion

To sum up

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, the higher authorities should invest more in art-related activities to continue restoring history and promote them with much fervour for the well-being of mankind.

gupta.swati2102

Nov 13, 2022

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task response

Ensure that the essay directly addresses the prompt and fully explores the given topic. Provide a more balanced discussion of the opposing viewpoint.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure is good, but ensure that the progression of ideas is clear and well-connected throughout the essay. Use transition words to enhance coherence.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

327 words

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Just like the government spends funds on music and theatre, it does the same on arts too which is considered a waste of money. Don’t you think that the government should spend more on revamping public services? Do you agree? If no, then why?

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Stress related illnesses are becoming increasingly common What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggests?

In marriage today, some argue that it is the responsibility of both spouses to earn a living for the family. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Multinational companies are becoming increaseingly common indeveloping countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?