Congestion is a huge problem. Why does it happen? How can it be tackled?

#congestion

There is no denying the fact that urbanization moved most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people towards one particular area of the city.

This

resulted in congestion, which is

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

becoming

Change the article

show examples

emerging threat to the whole world. In

this

essay

Add a comma

,essay

show examples

we will discuss

about

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

its potential causes and

the a

Choose an article

the

show examples

remedy to curb

this

menace.

To begin

with, a major underlying reason stems from the fact that opportunities for growth are found only in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

developed cities.

For instance

, all the Multinational Companies, Educational Institutions are put up in major cities.

Hence

people

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

to move there for work, studies etc. Since the city is crowded the demand for

Correct your spelling

necessities

necessaries

necessaties

Correct your spelling

necessities

like food,

shelter

Add an article

the shelter

show examples

also

gets increased which in turn introduces lots of restaurants, Shopping Malls, Automobiles etc...

Moreover

with the increasing usage of automobiles the air gets polluted, traffic becomes worse

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

etc... Analysing the issue and

explaning

Correct your spelling

explaining

explain

further

, the one-stop solution would be

distribution

Add an article

the distribution

a distribution

show examples

of the government and private industries among the whole state

instead

of targetting a single city.

This

makes people

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

spread out avoiding congestion. The government should consider implementing

this

solution to make

Correct article usage

the

show examples

world a good place to live in. To conclude,

workforce

Add an article

the workforce

show examples

is the key solution to all the problems associated with congestion. As

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

humans

Add a comma

,humans

show examples

we should all work together to bring

this

change to the world.

Submitted by vikrakrishs on Sun Nov 13 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

222 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
It is considered by some that taking risks is impeartive in both personal and professional facets. From my standpoint, although there are merits from from accepting risks, I advocate that a lot of drawbacks may happen alongside outweigh the prositive sides.
4.5
band
Universities and colleges are now offering courses through distance learning from the Internet rather than teachers in the classroom. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
Educational institutions are now integrating internet-based courses alongside traditional classroom teaching to facilitate the learning process. Despite the attachment of some individuals to conventional educational methods, I believe that the development of diverse delivery modes is crucial, especially for international students who are unable to travel.
4.5
band
Some countries are struggling with an increase in the rate of crime. Many people think that having more police on the streets is the only way to reduce these increasing levels of crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, it is true that many countries have been challenged by increasing crimes happening per day. Some considered that a police force can address those kinds of issues. However, having more police on the street which cannot help reduce crimes and I completely disagree with this statement because there are other actions that can tackle this increase in crime issues.
4
band
In many societies in the world, the population is ageing rapidly and this is leading to an unsustainable increase in the cost of public healthcare.
One of the main themes today is about supporting old people by health care services.Now our society thinks how government can ensure elderly men and women to care their health, but their number increases every day and this task becomes harder respectively.As I think, it is mentioned to the general standard of living.We will be able to give treatment to everyone, if medicine becomes more accessible for all groups of society.So, it can be difficult to make their life easier after ten years at least.
4.5
band
Some people argue that job satisfaction is more important than job security, while others believe that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, and a permanent job is more important. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
There are controversial perspectives heating a debate over an ideal job. While some hold a strong view that vocation gratification is of essence, the opposite makes a statement that a stable job is more crucial. Although each has its own perks, I would contend that it is optimal to combine both mentioned facets

Congestion is a huge problem. Why does it happen? How can it be tackled?

Fully explain your ideas

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Universities and colleges are now offering courses through distance learning from the Internet rather than teachers in the classroom. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Some countries are struggling with an increase in the rate of crime. Many people think that having more police on the streets is the only way to reduce these increasing levels of crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many societies in the world, the population is ageing rapidly and this is leading to an unsustainable increase in the cost of public healthcare.

Some people argue that job satisfaction is more important than job security, while others believe that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, and a permanent job is more important. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion