IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

You live in a room in college which you share with another student. However, there are many problems with this arrangement and you find it very difficult to work. Write a letter to the accommodation officer at the college. In the letter describe the situation explain your problems and why it is difficult to work say what kind of accommodation you would prefer

#room #college #student #arrangement #work #accommodation #officer #situation
Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing
this
 letter in
regards
Fix the agreement mistake
regard
show examples
 to the issue I am facing with my
room
 and I
also
 want you to allocate me another staying arrangement. I am
student
Add an article
a student
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 final year, currently staying in my accommodation
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
university
Correct article usage
the university
show examples
 east building on
Correct article usage
the 2nd
show examples
2nd floor
Add a hyphen
2nd-floor
show examples
room
 number 5. For your information at present, I am sharing my
room
 with one of the students of
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 college who is pursuing arts and culture as his subject and I am into information technology. Since we belong to two different
field
Change to a plural noun
fields
show examples
, I am not able to focus on my
final year
Add a hyphen
final-year
show examples
 projects which I have to submit to the University.
Moreover
, the main reason for me to write
this
 letter is to notify
that
Correct pronoun usage
you that
show examples
 due
his
Change preposition
to his
show examples
 course demand, he keeps playing music and
practice
Wrong verb form
practising
show examples
 various
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of performing arts which has been a problematic issue to focus
me
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
on my studies and concentrate on projects.
Therefore
, I would request you to arrange
me
Change preposition
for me
show examples
 a different
room
 as per my requirement probably a single sharing
room
 so I can completely concentrate on my graduation year preparation.
Also
, let me know about the procedure for changing and fees if any. Hope you will do the needful as early as you can. Thanking You! In anticipation. Yours sincerely Afroz
Submitted by Khan_afo86 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: