IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The company you work for has decided to close the cafeteria, as the staff is not using it much. You are not happy with the decision. Write a letter to the director. Give reasons of low usage. How will it affect the staff? Suggest ways to improve it.

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Dear Mr Johnson I am writing to let you know that I feel disappointed because I found out that the cafeteria on the
first
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 floor of our building is about to shut down in a month. As far as I ,know less variety of food provided on the menu is the reason for fewer customers. Prior to that, it leads to less income. I personally like the cuisine they sell, it is both delicious and time-saving since it is in the same building as our company. I reckon when the cafe is out of service some people , including ,
me
Change the pronoun
I

It appears you have used the object pronoun me in a subjective position. Consider changing it.

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 will find having lunch time-consuming
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma before the dependent clause marker since. Consider removing the comma.

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 since another cafe which is close to our company is 400 miles away, I feel that definitely affects most of the staff of several companies of our building. I strongly believe when the cafe adds some delicious meals, desserts, salads and some types of beverages to its menu, many people will get interested in trying out the food.
Additionally
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they will probably have a pretty great income. Yours faithfully, Nigorakhon

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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