Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

It is arguable whether
children
should be taught in a domestic environment or a
school
. Since both sides have their own advantages, it seems of great importance to consider them fairly.
Thus
, in
this
essay, from what perspective which statement is better for
children
will be discussed.
To begin
with, as far as protection is concerned, domestic teaching will be more appropriate. First and foremost,
children
are easily exposed to what is considered to be harmful to their development.
For example
, drug abuse, porn,
school
violence and the like, all of which are a severe menace to young students, are easily seen being consumed by teenagers.
This
becomes more popular when they start to share with one another without adults who can manage them properly. Considering the fact that there are a lot more students than teachers, it is not feasible for teachers to take care of every single student safely.
However
, if it was parents who teach them, they will efficiently protect their kids from harmful objects in order for them to become beloved adolescents
as well as
well-rounded adults.
On the other hand
, the advantages accruing from going to
school
should be underestimated.
Firstly
,
children
can learn how to communicate with other
people
naturally and effectively just by attending
school
and getting
along with
peers their age.
This
social interaction skill is used for the rest of their lives.
Nevertheless
,
this
skill is considered to be one of the hardest tasks to acquire, once they miss the right time.
For example
, some
people
who are not accustomed to the subtleties of social interaction with others have a higher chance of
having
Verb problem
apply
show examples
not
been
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
able to go to
school
in their teens or meet as many
people
as ordinary
people
. What it means is that it could not be more essential for
children
to have as many opportunities to interact with peers as possible and
school
is the right place.
To conclude
, even though parents could truly play a significant role in
children
's education, I believe that public education can provide offspring with much more necessary subjects.
Therefore
,
children
should be encouraged to attend
school
.
Submitted by johndaegeun on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that the introduction clearly sets up the discussion of the advantages of both homeschooling and traditional schooling. The conclusion should clearly state your own opinion, which it currently avoids doing.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is generally good, but make sure that the introduction and conclusion clearly outline the advantages of both methods and your opinion. Additionally, use linking words and phrases to improve coherence and cohesion throughout the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Tailored learning
  • peer pressure
  • flexibility
  • instill values
  • socialization
  • communication skills
  • specialized facilities
  • extracurricular activities
  • diversity
  • structured environment
  • customized education
  • well-rounded education
What to do next:
Look at other essays: