Which do you prefer: a high-paying job with long hours or a lower-paying job with shorter hours? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

In
this
modern era, everyone wants a big house and a car for which a huge amount is needed.
This
will lead people to work for long
hours
because the salary is good with these types of jobs. But I would prefer a low-paying job with shorter
hours
because
then
I will have
time
for myself and there will be fewer health issues. I will have enough
time
for my family as well. One of the good things about short working
hours
is, that you will have enough
time
to work on yourself like going to the gym, doing yoga and other sports activities which are not possible when you are working as a full-
time
employee. It is often seen that individuals with long-
hours
contracts face many health issues like stress, back pain and insomnia because some companies offer night shifts as well.
For instance
, when I was working as a site engineer in a construction company I had so many health issues like back pain and insomnia because I used to do night shifts.
Moreover
working for fewer
hours
gives you enough
time
that you can spend with your family. In many cases, it is seen that the folks who do a job for a long
time
have a communication gap with their family members. Even though the salary is good but no mental peace. Even In some cases, it has been seen that people start to feel less motivated. In conclusion, one can say that there is a need for awareness about how these full-
time
jobs harm your body and your mental peace. Simple living and high thinking
also
need consideration. If possible always save
time
for yourself as well.
Submitted by vivek6909127 on

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coherence cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow between paragraphs. You can use transitional phrases to link your ideas more clearly.
task achievement
Expand on your main points with more examples and details where possible. This will make your argument more compelling.
general
Pay attention to minor grammatical issues and try to vary your sentence structure to enhance the readability of your essay.
task achievement
You have addressed the task well by clearly stating your preference and supporting it with reasons.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-presented, effectively framing your essay.
task achievement
The main points are clear and generally well-supported, making your essay easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • career growth
  • financial stability
  • mental health
  • stress levels
  • burnout
  • job satisfaction
  • standard of living
  • social relationships
  • retirement planning
  • personal development
  • time management
  • opportunity cost
  • trade-offs
  • quality of life
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