Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some believe the main environmental problem nowadays is the extinction of certain species,
while
others argue that there are more serious environmental issues. In
this
essay, I will discuss both perceptions and conclude with my point of view. There will be many consequences
due to
the extinction of certain animals or plants. The most obvious is that losing
particular
Correct article usage
a particular
show examples
species will cause an imbalance in the habitat where it used to live.
For example
, if a
predicator
Correct your spelling
predator
show examples
like tigers or lions is extinct, it will lead to mass reproduction in their prey,
such
as cows or sheep,
this
phenomenon will disturb the ecosystem, which might cause more damage to the environment.
However
, we suffer from many natural crises these days, including global warming, air pollution, and extreme weather. These circumstances were all caused by ourselves, humans,
as a result
of using excessive fossil fuels, cutting down the forest, being occupied by capitalism, etc. I regard these are much more crucial and serious environmental problems than extinction that we encounter today because these severe crises are caused by ourselves, so we are the ones who should be facing up to and making progress on
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Furthermore
, there is a lot of progress we could make daily to improve the circumstances, taking public transport
instead
of driving our car to work which is an example. In conclusion,
although
some particular extinctions will cause damage and imbalance in the environment, I'm more convinced that natural catastrophes caused by humans are more urgent and pivotal environmental problems that should be solved by ourselves to build a sustainable world in the future.
Submitted by n0806ing on

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Task Response
Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and presents relevant ideas. However, work on providing more specific and detailed examples to support your arguments. Use specific data or incidents to strengthen the points you make.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay shows a logical structure and presents a clear introduction and conclusion. Ensure that your supporting ideas are well-connected and use linking words or phrases to improve cohesion. This will make your essay more coherent and comprehensible.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
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