IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that more actions can be done to prevent crime, while others think that little can be done. What is your opinion?

#people #actions #crime
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some believe that there are more methods that can be done to deal with criminal protection, while others say there is nothing avail to be done.
However
Linking Words
, I am more convinced of the former statement and I will go through my perception in
this
Linking Words
 essay. There are many things we can do when it comes to protecting
people
Use synonyms
 from violence.
First
Linking Words
 of all, the
government
Use synonyms
 can set up regulations to protect victims without taking into account their social status, which means
people
Use synonyms
 should be protected no matter whether they are poor or rich. As a consequence, when committing a crime, every individual should be punished the same as long as they make the same mistake.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
 must enact rules that are injustice and avoid any privileges.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is
also
Linking Words
 crucial to learn how to deal with crimes ourselves, not only the
government
Use synonyms
 can improve
this
Linking Words
 by adding it to our education but
also
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 can take action to help themselves.
People
Use synonyms
 can learn skills like kung fu, karate, or boxing to improve their strength, which will allow them to fight back when encountering violent
people
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, if learning protective skills is too expensive for poverty, they could try to practice running, so whenever they meet gangsters they can escape the situation by running away. In conclusion, crimes have detrimental effects on our lives, both socially and economically, even though it is impossible to stop all of them, it is still essential for us to try to tackle them.
In addition
Linking Words
 , the
government
Use synonyms
 and individuals both have the responsibility to reduce criminal actions to build a society full of welfare
instead
Linking Words
 of crimes.
Submitted by n0806ing on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: