IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Studies suggest that many teenagers these days prefer socialising online to meeting one another in person. Why do you think this is the case? What measures could be taken to encourage teenagers to spend more time meeting one another in person? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#studies #teenagers #person #case #measures #time
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
That argument based on
Correct your spelling
studies
studiyes
Correct your spelling
studies
 shows that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 teenagers
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nowadays
choose
Add the particle
tochoose
show examples
 meet online with others rather than face-to-face
Correct your spelling
communication
comminication
Correct your spelling
communication
 and in my opinion it is a problem caused by
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
 of confidence of
recent
Correct article usage
the recent
show examples
 generation and
habit
Correct article usage
the habit
show examples
 of staying in front of
computer
Add an article
a computer
the computer
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all time long.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the
Correct your spelling
young
show examples
youngs
Correct your spelling
young
show examples
 in present days have less and less confidence
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
ownself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
 because of that they might
been
Change the verb form
be
show examples
 destructive to others who
Add a missing verb
are different
show examples
different
Replace the word
differ
show examples
 from average.
As a result
Linking Words
 of that, teenagers prefer online dating where
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 feel safe with their
personality
Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
show examples
 for any kind of friend meeting .We can count
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 fake accounts or profiles as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
back up
Join the words
backup
show examples
argument
Fix the agreement mistake
arguments
show examples
 and
example
Fix the agreement mistake
examples
show examples
 which are famous in recent youths.But the primary issue is, they don't create
this
Linking Words
 habit, they just carry on. So the solution
is encourage
Change the verb form
is to encourage
show examples
 them to how to be humble in front of differences before they become a mentor as a parent or
educater
Correct your spelling
educator
educate
 in
instituies
Correct your spelling
institutes
institutions
 for
Correct article usage
the fallowing
show examples
Correct your spelling
following
show examples
fallowing
Correct your spelling
following
show examples
 generation. As the
second
Linking Words
 problem, the increasing conveniences to reach new tech devices made teens
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
use
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 more and more. So in my opinion, the upward trend of spending time with being online cause
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
more dissociation
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
 teenagers and they prefer to stay online even when they
socialing
Correct your spelling
socialising
social
. The best solution for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
isolation at home might be
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that they should use
out of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
doors for their leisure activity to taste how much is amusing being with friends as us
as at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the old days. To summarize
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
, the high level of self-unconfident of the younger population in today's society and
Correct your spelling
sense
Correct article usage
the sence
show examples
sence
Correct your spelling
sense
 of desireless for being outside,
pushing
Wrong verb form
push
show examples
 them to choose online socialising. To solve
this
Linking Words
 problem,
solution
Add an article
the solution
show examples
 should come from early education which
contain
Change the verb form
contains
show examples
 the importance of face-to-face communication given by parent and
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
 system.
Submitted by ecemanginn on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • socialization
  • curate
  • engaging
  • social anxiety
  • digital detox
  • tech-free zones
  • mentorship programs
  • real-world interactions
  • face-to-face settings
  • in-person participation
  • promote
  • deter
  • foster
  • appeal
  • perspectives
  • detox challenges
  • community service
What to do next:
Look at other essays: