Although you have never formally studied computing, you have always been interested in computers. You have just read about a computer course that really interests you, but it is only for people who have completed an elementary course. Write a letter to the college enrolment officer. In your letter explain why you are writing describe your circumstances ask if a special exception can be made for you so you can enrol in the course

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Dear Enrolment Officer, I hope

this

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letter finds you in good health. The main reason for writing

this

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letter is to seek your permission to

enroll

Change the spelling

enrol

show examples

in a computer

course

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. I am studying mechanical engineering at

this

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college, but I am always interested in doing a computer

course

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Furthermore

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, nowadays everything is somehow related to computing, I just read about a

course

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in the college magazine, and I wanted to participate in it. Because I came from a different background, I never had a chance to complete any elementary

course

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in computing, but I always tried to learn basic skills from my friends who took computer science and engineering, and

also

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from online resources. I think these skills would be sufficient to understand an advanced-level

course

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Moreover

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According to

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the magazine people who have completed an elementary

course

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can only apply for the

course

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I am interested in. So, I would be very grateful if you give me an exception, and provide me the opportunity to enroll in

this

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course

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. Looking forward to hearing from you. Yours Sincerely, Srinivas Varma.

varmaib1Thu Feb 29 2024

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structure

Ensure that your letter is clearly structured, dividing it into paragraphs each dealing with a separate point. This structure generally is evident, but further delineation between the explanation of your background and your specific request may enhance clarity.

cohesion

Use a range of cohesive devices to link your ideas more smoothly. While your letter flows reasonably well, more varied connectors and a clearer progression of ideas from general interest to a specific request would strengthen coherence.

task completion

Your task response is competent, but including specific examples of your self-taught skills or how they apply to the course could strengthen your argument. Make sure the extent of your interest and any relevant experience is clear, to fully meet the task requirements.

tone

Maintain a polite and respectful tone, which you've done well. However, to elevate your writing, consider incorporating more sophisticated expressions of request and gratitude, enhancing the formality where appropriate for written requests.

5
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

180 words

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In many countries government are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?