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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

children today play very violent games. This must be the reason for the increase in violence and crime in most major cities of the world. What are your opinions on this?

#children #games #reason #violence #crime #cities #world
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There is no doubt that nowadays, video
games
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 are becoming the most popular entertainment method for most segments of
society
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, especially
children
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. Among various categories of
this
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 entertaining type,
games
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 with violent and war scenes are might the most played. Some argue that these
games
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 are inappropriate for
children
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 because they encourage crimes and
violence
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 worldwide. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss the
effects
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 of violent
games
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 on adolescents’ behaviours and how aggressive
games
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 might worry societies. Regarding side
effects
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,
children
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 immersed in violent
games
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 tend to be alone and socially withdrawn. They will be more vulnerable to influence from terrorists or criminal groups using online
games
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.
Moreover
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, spending a long time playing
such
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games
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 will affect academic achievement.
Instead
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 of progressing academically, kids might neglect to learn communication and social skills, which leads
children
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 to be abandoned form
society
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.
This
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 will instil excessive
violence
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 in the child, which is reflected in his behaviour.
In addition
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,
children
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’s minds are still developing, and they might imitate dangerous movements that they saw while playing to approve their abilities to others. Regarding side
effects
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,
children
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 immersed in violent
games
Use synonyms
 tend to be alone and socially withdrawn. They will be more vulnerable to influence from terrorists or criminal groups using online
games
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, spending a long time playing
such
Linking Words
games
Use synonyms
 will affect academic achievement.
Instead
Linking Words
 of progressing academically, kids might neglect to learn communication and social skills, which leads
children
Use synonyms
 to be abandoned form
society
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 will instil excessive
violence
Use synonyms
 in the child, which is reflected in his behaviour.
In addition
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
’s minds are still developing, and they might imitate dangerous movements that they saw while playing to approve their abilities to others. Regarding side
effects
Use synonyms
,
children
Use synonyms
 immersed in violent
games
Use synonyms
 tend to be alone and socially withdrawn. They will be more vulnerable to influence from terrorists or criminal groups using online
games
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, spending a long time playing
such
Linking Words
games
Use synonyms
 will affect academic achievement.
Instead
Linking Words
 of progressing academically, kids might neglect to learn communication and social skills, which leads
children
Use synonyms
 to be abandoned form
society
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 will instil excessive
violence
Use synonyms
 in the child, which is reflected in his behaviour.
In addition
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
’s minds are still developing, and they might imitate dangerous movements that they saw while playing to approve their abilities to others. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 playing
games
Use synonyms
 are enjoyable and beneficial,
children
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 who play violent
games
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 are most likely to gain aggressive behaviours and threaten societies and individual.
Submitted by abdulla.alkaabi on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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