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Writing Samples
Band 4

In today's world, private companies rather than government pay for and conduct most scientific research. Do you think the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

#world #companies #government #conduct #research
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There is no doubt conducting scientific
research
Use synonyms
 requires an amount of
money
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. It is often paid by
Private
Correct article usage
a Private
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 Company rather than
Government
Correct article usage
the Government
show examples
.
While
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 I accept that
this
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 trend may have some drawbacks, I strongly believe that its benefits are greater. On the one hand, there are a variety of disadvantages
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
 trend . First of all, We can't get anywhere denying that corporations
convest
Correct your spelling
conduct
 experiments to advertise their business.
Secondly
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 , Most advanced
research
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 equipment and resources at private organizations would increase the price of the resulting product and would not be accessible to the general public. Another problem can be accessibility. As the cost of
such
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research
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 is higher, it would not be easily available. Different outlets will only exhibit
such
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 products based on their audience which will result in
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
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 being available at select locations
On the other hand
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, I would argue that Beneficial is outweighed by Detrimental.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
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 can spend more
money
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 on social activities
as well as
Linking Words
 welfare.
For instance
Linking Words
: during the recent
covid
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COVID
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 pandemic, developing and undeveloped nations may spend more
money
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 improving
citizents’s
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citizens’
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 material life and spiritual
life
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lives
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.
Instead
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 of
convesting
Correct your spelling
conducting
medical
research
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 to make vaccines or Healing agents.In
addtion
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addition
, Private companies often spend a lot of
money
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 to conduct experiments and go through many rigorous processes. So their products so their products are extremely good and highly competitive in the international market. In conclusion, it seems to me that the advantages of conducting
research
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 by group are more considerable than its disadvantages.
Submitted by trminhchau27 on

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Task Achievement
Improve the clarity of your ideas and examples to better address the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas and connecting your points in a more coherent structure.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • scientific research
  • private sector
  • government funding
  • technological innovation
  • competitive nature
  • profitable outcomes
  • conflict of interest
  • corporate bias
  • economic stimulation
  • public interest
  • non-profitable
  • public welfare
  • commercial applications
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