Young people should spend more time on cultural activities such as music and theatres and less time on sport. How far do you agree with this statements?

#people #time #activities #music #theatres #sport #statements

is believe

Change the verb form

is believed

show examples

that youth spend chunks of money on traditional activities

such

as music and drama rather than

sports

However

I partially agree with

above

Add an article

the above

show examples

statement and ,

this

essay will analyze my view from my standpoint.

First

of all, considering from a cultural perspective,youngsters devote more time ,as well as, wealth on heritage will be preserved apply forever in the-up coming years . To explain it, if an individual keeps touch with ritual

then

, there is a strong between new generations and older. In

this

, way they can understand each other more accurately.

For example

, there is research which shows that in India more

people

understand each other

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

than, western country Some

people

think that one should retire at the age of 60 or 65. Others say that

people

should be allowed to work for as long as they want to. What is your opinion about

this

,due to their attachment to ethical activities

Change the punctuation

show examples

On the other hand

to begin

with , the role of

sports

individual life is

also

crucial. To explicate it,

sports

give mental as well as physical strength which gives a healthy lifestyle ,

also

appropriate occupations with good wages.For instance, there is a survey in the United States of America, which showed that

people

who opt for

sports

over other activities have more healthy as well as , wealthy life .As a ,result it shows that

sports

action emphasises both lifestyle and money . In conclusion, no doubt spending money on culture is vital for individuals to stay with their roots , but ,

sports

also

have enormous advantages.

Submitted by rsbhinder15 on Tue Nov 15 2022

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

267 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Young people should spend more time on cultural activities such as music and theatres and less time on sport. How far do you agree with this statements?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Counties are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems such as railways and trams. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

For centuries, important parts of education have remained, such as reading, writing and maths. With the advent of computers, some people think that computer skills be made us a fourth skill to be added to the list. To what extent do you agree?