There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays youth people feel more pressure related to their future academic success.
This
led to a widespread opinion that non-academic
subjects
should be taken away from the
school
curriculum so
children
to focus on their main lessons. From my point of view, I fully disagree with deleting these
subjects
as they are essential for the general fitness of
children
and getting everyday
skills
. One evident drawback of stopping teaching PE is that
children
would be less fit.
Although
this
measure saves time for
children
and makes it possible to focus more on the main lessons, physical exercises are necessary for
children
to grow healthy.
For instance
,
children
who have regularly missed PE classes tend to come across problems related to backbone and heart more than those who have always taken part in those classes. Being physically active
also
increases the productivity of a person,
in other words
doing more exercises allows pupils to study more effectively than avoiding them.
As a result
,
although
at the moment pupils would have
development
Replace the word
developed
show examples
in their education level, in the long term
this
measure would cause a lot of damage to
the
Change the word
their
show examples
health and productivity. Another point for the secondary
subjects
remaining in the curriculum is that they give
children
useful life
skills
. Apart from formal ,
education
Add a comma
,education
show examples
there are
also
everyday
skills
that
children
should have in the arsenal before graduation from
school
. Running fast or being able to prepare food when the parents are absent,
for instance
, are important for becoming an autonomic person and being able to deal with everyday difficulties. Evidently, having a
school
consisting of only academic
subjects
would lead to the adults having a lack of essential surviving
skills
, which is disastrous for every society. In conclusion, I do not consider cutting out all secondary
subjects
from the
school
syllabus as the right measure, as it has a lot of drawbacks related to the health and autonomy of future adults.
Submitted by sanasaryan.gar on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

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Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • pressure
  • succeed
  • academically
  • non-academic
  • physical education
  • cookery
  • school syllabus
  • concentrate
  • academic work
  • well-rounded
  • enhancement
  • practical skills
  • balanced education system
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