People believe the over-use of smartphones are causing many problems in our lives, and it should be regulated. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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The ubiquity of smartphones forever alters
the
Correct article usage
apply

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human interaction as we once
knew
Correct pronoun usage
itknew

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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;
on the other hand
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, the side effects that come with them are captivating sizable media attention.
This
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay seeks to demonstrate the smart
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

devices
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devices'
device's

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conundrums and proposes that
certain
Correct article usage
a certain

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form of regulation is warranted. Given the situation, it is hardly surprising that numerous media outlets are outcrying wounds inflicted by smartphones. They are sophisticatedly designed
devices
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to not simply facilitate our lives but the ones depriving many of our innate abilities. Science research indicates that it is the biggest culprit responsible for our waning attention span,
thus
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

causing mounting complaints from teachers that they are forced to become “actors or actresses” to capture students’ fleeting attention
span
Fix the agreement mistake
spans

It seems that span may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. People
also
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

have been starting to lose empathy as we are now so accustomed to
conduct
Wrong verb form
conducting

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb conduct. Consider changing it.

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online chatting
instead
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

of authentic genuine face-to-face interaction. On the
surface
Add a comma
,surface

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase On the surface. Consider adding a comma.

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it contributes to growing productivity as people reduce
time
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

on travel.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, on a deeper level, because we don’t have to task ourselves with reading body language and detecting tiny facial muscular movements, we lose
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

nature
Replace the word
natural

The word nature doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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capability of what
everyone
Replace the word
every one

The word everyone may be used incorrectly. Review the following notes to determine the appropriate usage for your context.

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of us used to have — an aptitude to emotionally and physically connect with others. Left unchecked, who knows what
further
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

damages
Fix the agreement mistake
damage

It seems that damages may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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those tiny
devices
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

would do to us? Regulation,
thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, is wholeheartedly welcomed, but the
million dollar
Add a hyphen
million-dollar

It seems that million dollar is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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question is — by whom? For the starter, governments are not in place to carry out the regulatory duty, as it is up to the citizens to decide what lives they seek to live as long as within the confines of laws. 1 Legislation of any
sorts
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sort

It seems that sorts may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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would run the risk of greatly violating the freedom of individuals. Moving on to people themselves, with the best intention, it is extremely unlikely, if not impossible, that we would effectively self-regulate our own digital
time
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

spent on phones due to the irresistibility of online connectivity and the fact that we are the ones responsible for creating
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

dilemma in the
first
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

place. What about phone makers?
A imposed
Correct article usage
Imposed

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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screen
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

limits or allowance would be a wise solution
from
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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precisely the entities that cause the trouble. Phone-makers should roll out
leveled
Change the spelling
levelled

The spelling of leveled is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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screen
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

alarm
Fix the agreement mistake
alarms

It seems that alarm may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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according to age groups, considering the developmental stages of brains. Don’t mistake the measure
with
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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impeding individual freedom as the measure only intends to dutifully remind users of their
screen
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. Children should be seriously alarmed
in
Change preposition
at

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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how much
time
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

they are permitted to
maneuver
Change the spelling
manoeuvre

The spelling of maneuver is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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the
devices
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, given their limited self-control. Adults,
on the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
may be
Correct your spelling
maybe

The word may be seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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sanctioned to set rules for themselves. In the end, it is much easier to create a problem than to solve it as the over-reliance on smart
devices
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is now a state
of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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norm
Add an article
the norm

The noun phrase norm seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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and has permeated every crevice of humanity. It has
modeled
Change the spelling
modelled

The spelling of modeled is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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and will be continuing to model human
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour

The spelling of behavior is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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whether we relish it or not. If we consider it a problem
then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the best cure is to pose
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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check
on
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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our
screen
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, and it is best done through smartphone makers. May there be a day when companies judge the
successfulness
Replace the word
success

The word successfulness doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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of their products not based on how much
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

they can devour from users, but on how much
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

well-spent
Add a missing verb
is well-spent

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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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