Some people believe that students should be made to have unpaid jobs in their free time. Do you agree or disagree?
Few audiences have an opinion that students are to be made to do a task for free in their free time. I would certainly disagree with
this
statement and would like to express my notion in the below essay.
Linking Words
Firstly
, the main motivation for children to perform well depends on the monetary benefits they receive. If no wages are given to the tutees, they will lack interest in the effort that they do and Linking Words
this
will impact society Linking Words
as well as
disturb them mentally. Linking Words
Also
, since the small children will not have sufficient strength to work, there is a possibility of accidents Linking Words
due to
which their careers will get disturbed. Linking Words
For example
,in INDIA , there is a law that no student below the age of fourteen is Linking Words
not
supposed to work because they will not have sufficient strength to do physical activity.
Rephrase
apply
Secondly
, the main aim of a student is to perform well in academics and lead a decent life after his education. If people are forced to give effort for free, Linking Words
this
will impact their academic scores and will be named a failure in society. To cite an instance, a recent study has shown that in a few countries where it is mandatory for young children to endeavour in the army have shown very poor performance in their academics. Linking Words
Moreover
, in today's era, scholars Linking Words
are having
very minimal free time and if they are asked to do a job in their valuable time, they might be deprived of sleep and might face health issues.
Wrong verb form
have
Finally
, I would like Linking Words
to conclude
by Linking Words
telling
that scholars need to be motivated to perform well in academics and if it is necessary for them to struggle, they should be provided with encouraging wages so that they will be happy.Verb problem
saying
Submitted by lokeshchandra.kaikala on
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coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas in a more coherent and logical manner. Ensure that your introduction and conclusion adequately address the topic. Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your points.
task achievement
Your essay partially addresses the task but lacks a comprehensive response. You have provided relevant ideas but need to focus on developing them further and providing a clear stance on the prompt.