Some people believe that students should be made to have unpaid jobs in their free time. Do you agree or disagree?

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Few audiences have an opinion that students are to be made to do a task for free in their free time. I would certainly disagree with

this

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statement and would like to express my notion in the below essay.

Firstly

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, the main motivation for children to perform well depends on the monetary benefits they receive. If no wages are given to the tutees, they will lack interest in the effort that they do and

this

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will impact society

as well as

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disturb them mentally.

Also

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, since the small children will not have sufficient strength to work, there is a possibility of accidents

due to

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which their careers will get disturbed.

For example

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,in INDIA , there is a law that no student below the age of fourteen is

not

Rephrase

apply

show examples

supposed to work because they will not have sufficient strength to do physical activity.

Secondly

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, the main aim of a student is to perform well in academics and lead a decent life after his education. If people are forced to give effort for free,

this

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will impact their academic scores and will be named a failure in society. To cite an instance, a recent study has shown that in a few countries where it is mandatory for young children to endeavour in the army have shown very poor performance in their academics.

Moreover

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, in today's era, scholars

are having

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

very minimal free time and if they are asked to do a job in their valuable time, they might be deprived of sleep and might face health issues.

Finally

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, I would like

to conclude

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telling

Verb problem

saying

show examples

that scholars need to be motivated to perform well in academics and if it is necessary for them to struggle, they should be provided with encouraging wages so that they will be happy.

Submitted by lokeshchandra.kaikala on Wed Nov 16 2022

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coherence cohesion

Work on organizing your ideas in a more coherent and logical manner. Ensure that your introduction and conclusion adequately address the topic. Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your points.

task achievement

Your essay partially addresses the task but lacks a comprehensive response. You have provided relevant ideas but need to focus on developing them further and providing a clear stance on the prompt.

10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

296 words

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Some people believe that students should be made to have unpaid jobs in their free time. Do you agree or disagree?

Banks should receive billions of dollars in assistance from their governments during a financial crisis that was in large part their fault. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons

#Crime | #Education - In many countries schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solution can you suggest?

Some people think that the best way to improve road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving cars or motor-bikes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?