Some people believe that students should be made to have unpaid jobs in their free time. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #students #jobs #time

Few audiences have an opinion that students are to be made to do a task for free in their free time. I would certainly disagree with

this

statement and would like to express my notion in the below essay.

Firstly

, the main motivation for children to perform well depends on the monetary benefits they receive. If no wages are given to the tutees, they will lack interest in the effort that they do and

this

will impact society

as well as

disturb them mentally.

Also

, since the small children will not have sufficient strength to work, there is a possibility of accidents

due to

which their careers will get disturbed.

For example

,in INDIA , there is a law that no student below the age of fourteen is

not

Rephrase

apply

show examples

supposed to work because they will not have sufficient strength to do physical activity.

Secondly

, the main aim of a student is to perform well in academics and lead a decent life after his education. If people are forced to give effort for free,

this

will impact their academic scores and will be named a failure in society. To cite an instance, a recent study has shown that in a few countries where it is mandatory for young children to endeavour in the army have shown very poor performance in their academics.

Moreover

, in today's era, scholars

are having

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

very minimal free time and if they are asked to do a job in their valuable time, they might be deprived of sleep and might face health issues.

Finally

, I would like

to conclude

telling

Verb problem

saying

show examples

that scholars need to be motivated to perform well in academics and if it is necessary for them to struggle, they should be provided with encouraging wages so that they will be happy.

Submitted by lokeshchandra.kaikala on Wed Nov 16 2022

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coherence cohesion

Work on organizing your ideas in a more coherent and logical manner. Ensure that your introduction and conclusion adequately address the topic. Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your points.

task achievement

Your essay partially addresses the task but lacks a comprehensive response. You have provided relevant ideas but need to focus on developing them further and providing a clear stance on the prompt.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

296 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that students should be made to have unpaid jobs in their free time. Do you agree or disagree?

The government's investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with the sentence?

Although more and more people read the news on the Internet, newspaper will remain the most important source of news for the majority of people. Do you agree or disagree with that statement?

Space exploration is much too expensive and the money should be spent on more important things. Q: What is your opinion?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it’s a positive or negative development?