Teachers should be paid according to how much their students learn. What is your opinion?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The given data reflect the prices and attendance at entertainment places in 2009. Looking from the overall perspective, attending cinemas was the most popular leisure activity, whereas sports seemed to be the least lovely people's entertainment in 2009. It is seen that there were over a million no. of cinema admissions.

Moreover

Linking Words

, cinema tickets were the cheapest options for entertainment (15$ for 1 ticket and 55$ for a family). Theme parks, in turn, were significantly less popular (having about 350.000 admissions). The single ticket cost 70 $ which was noticeably more expensive than the single cinema ticket. A different situation happened to sports attendance. It was about 5 times fewer No. of admissions compared to cinemas and like 2 times compared to theme parks.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, Football games were the most expensive leisure activity in 2009. The prices ranged from 71$ to 75$ depending on AFL, NRL or NRU games. Cricket and Basketball game tickets were relatively cheap (it was 34$ and 24$ respectively).

Submitted by bale.dunkel on Wed Nov 16 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

2
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

163 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
With the rise of the internet more and more people are getting their news from social media platforms. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?
It is believed that taking risks is crucial when talking about personal life and career. I do agree with this statement, and think that the merits of taking risks outweigh its demerits and this essay will discuss both in detail.
6.5
band
As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is an ongoing debate about whether businesses should undertake responsibilities or not, advocating the importance of being involved in social activities as a significant action. I strongly believe that although international companies cannot be responsible for solving social problems, small businesses should be accompanied by local communities in curbing certain issues.
7.5
band
Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out.  In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Oftentimes, the study of English is prioritised over the study of domestic languages in education institutions, which might lead to the extinction of a large number of them. Albeit the importance of a mastery of English for a society cannot be understated, the protection of regional languages through state-run education and support is paramount, too.
6.5
band
Your workplace does not have a parking area for cars, and it is causing some problems. Write a letter to your manager and include the following: – Describe the problems it has caused. – Explain what benefits a parking area would bring to the company. – Suggest a solution.
I am writing this letter to express my concern regarding parking issues in our office. As you know we recently relocated and we do not have a safe parking space.
4.5
band
‏ some cultures, childrens are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Working is an It is certainly essential things in our lives. true that kids can achleve the best if they work hard. However, not all the effects of this innovation have been positive, although there are surely some advantages.

Teachers should be paid according to how much their students learn. What is your opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

With the rise of the internet more and more people are getting their news from social media platforms. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your workplace does not have a parking area for cars, and it is causing some problems. Write a letter to your manager and include the following: – Describe the problems it has caused. – Explain what benefits a parking area would bring to the company. – Suggest a solution.

‏ some cultures, childrens are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?