IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some of the methods used in advertising are unethical and unacceptable in today’s society. Do you agree or disagree with this view? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

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The world that we live in today is dominated by advertising.
Advertisements
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 are on television, on the World Wide Web, on the street and even on our mobile phones. I believe that many of the strategies used to sell a product or service are very annoying as they disturb the privacy of an individual
as well as
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 influence
people
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 to purchase unwanted
products
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.
To begin
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 with, the fact that individuals cannot escape from advertising is a significant cause for complaint. Constant images and signs wherever we look can be very intrusive and irritating at times. Take
for example
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 advertising on the mobile phone. With the latest
technology
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technology,
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 mobile companies are now able to send advertising messages via SMS to consumers' phones whenever they choose.
Although
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 we expect
advertisements
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 in numerous situations, it now seems that there are very few places
people
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 can actually avoid them. A
further
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 aspect of advertising
that is
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 unethical is the way that it encourages
people
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 to buy
products
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 they may not need or cannot afford. Children and young
people
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in particular
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 are influenced by
advertisements
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 showing the latest toys, clothing or music and
this
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 can put enormous pressure on parents to buy these
products
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.
In addition
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, the advertising of tobacco
products
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 and alcohol has long been a controversial issue, but cigarette
advertisements
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 have only recently been banned in many countries. It is quite possible that alcohol
advertisements
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 encourage excessive consumption and underage drinking, yet restrictions have not been placed on
this
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 type of advertising in the same way as smoking.  In conclusion, it is certainly true to say that advertising is an everyday feature of
people
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's lives. Individuals are constantly being disturbed and encouraged to buy
products
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 or services that might be too expensive, unnecessary or even unhealthy.
Hence
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, the aspects of advertising do appear to be morally wrong and should not be acceptable in today's society.

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task response
Your essay provides a clear opinion and supports it with relevant examples. Ensure that your examples are specific and well-developed.
coherence cohesion
You have shown a good level of coherence and cohesion by using appropriate linking words and structuring your essay effectively. It is important to ensure that your examples are coherent and contribute to a cohesive argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Unethical
  • Unacceptable
  • Deceptive
  • Exaggerated
  • Misleading
  • Manipulation
  • Vulnerable
  • Targeted advertising
  • Perpetuation
  • Societal norms
  • Stereotypes
  • Negative body image
  • Intrusion of privacy
  • Data-driven
  • Over-saturation
  • Desensitization
  • Annoyance
  • Greenwashing
  • Eco-conscious
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