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Writing Samples
Band 6

Prison is the common way most countries try to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide the public a better education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#prison #countries #crime #education
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Over the past few decades, there has been a tremendous increase in the number of
people
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 questioning whether or not prisons are an appropriate way to limit criminal
activities
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. While some may disagree, I strongly believe that educating
people
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 will be more helpful
instead
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. From my perspective, it will not only allow them to pay attention to better things in life
,
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apply
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 but will
also
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 help the vulnerable section of society avoid engaging in criminal
activities
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.
To begin
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, there is an argument to be made that educating the general public will serve as an opportunity to reduce
crime
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 rates significantly, as well-educated
people
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 are less likely to indulge in
such
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activities
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. To illustrate
this
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 point, in 2016, Germany and Italy reduced cases of robbery and car
thefts
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theft
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 by 30% after starting night school for the underprivileged section of
the
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apply
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society, who would have
otherwise
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 engaged with local gangs and helped them to commit crimes. For
this
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 reason, it is evident that by increasing the literacy rate of the country, the incidents of
crime
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 would decline considerably, as these
people
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 will be able to focus on other aspects of their lives. What is more, countless criminal psychologists have confirmed that school is where one learns about the moral standards of society, as they meet
people
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 from different cultural backgrounds and learn about what is ethical and acceptable by the
people
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 of their community.
This
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 being the case, it is not unreasonable to assume if the citizens of the nation remain uneducated, more criminal offences will take place.
In addition
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 to
this
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, there is a growing body of evidence to suggest that a majority of criminal offenders committed crimes in order to provide for their families, as they lacked funds and basic resources to look after them.
For example
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, according to the Times, in the UK, two-thirds of
people
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 below the poverty line stopped taking part in law-breaking
activities
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 after they were given a chance to acquire a
Correct your spelling
high school
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highschool
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high school
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 diploma, allowing them to apply for higher paid jobs that fulfilled all their needs.
Therefore
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, it is undeniable that educating citizens is definitely a better way of controlling
crime
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 rates rather than sending them to prison, as they have other means to earn money.
Furthermore
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, there are multiple education programs organised by non-profitable NGOs that have proven to help criminal offenders, as they give them a
second
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 chance at life by helping them acquire
knowledge
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the knowledge
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 and skills essential to
survive
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surviving
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. With
this
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 in mind, there is no doubt that if the state decides to reserve more of their budgets for education,
less
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fewer
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people
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 will end up falling into the vicious world of
crime
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. To conclude from the aforementioned discussion, the overwhelming evidence seems to suggest that imparting knowledge to citizens will allow us to monitor the
crime
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 rates more effectively than sending them to prisons for trivial matters.
Submitted by sihongwang on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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