Prison is the common way most countries try to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide the public a better education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Over the past few decades, there has been a tremendous increase in the number of
people
questioning whether or not prisons are an appropriate way to limit criminal
activities
. While some may disagree, I strongly believe that educating
people
will be more helpful
instead
. From my perspective, it will not only allow them to pay attention to better things in life
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but will
also
help the vulnerable section of society avoid engaging in criminal
activities
.
To begin
, there is an argument to be made that educating the general public will serve as an opportunity to reduce
crime
rates significantly, as well-educated
people
are less likely to indulge in
such
activities
. To illustrate
this
point, in 2016, Germany and Italy reduced cases of robbery and car
thefts
Fix the agreement mistake
theft
show examples
by 30% after starting night school for the underprivileged section of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society, who would have
otherwise
engaged with local gangs and helped them to commit crimes. For
this
reason, it is evident that by increasing the literacy rate of the country, the incidents of
crime
would decline considerably, as these
people
will be able to focus on other aspects of their lives. What is more, countless criminal psychologists have confirmed that school is where one learns about the moral standards of society, as they meet
people
from different cultural backgrounds and learn about what is ethical and acceptable by the
people
of their community.
This
being the case, it is not unreasonable to assume if the citizens of the nation remain uneducated, more criminal offences will take place.
In addition
to
this
, there is a growing body of evidence to suggest that a majority of criminal offenders committed crimes in order to provide for their families, as they lacked funds and basic resources to look after them.
For example
, according to the Times, in the UK, two-thirds of
people
below the poverty line stopped taking part in law-breaking
activities
after they were given a chance to acquire a
Correct your spelling
high school
show examples
highschool
Correct your spelling
high school
show examples
diploma, allowing them to apply for higher paid jobs that fulfilled all their needs.
Therefore
, it is undeniable that educating citizens is definitely a better way of controlling
crime
rates rather than sending them to prison, as they have other means to earn money.
Furthermore
, there are multiple education programs organised by non-profitable NGOs that have proven to help criminal offenders, as they give them a
second
chance at life by helping them acquire
knowledge
Correct article usage
the knowledge
show examples
and skills essential to
survive
Change the verb form
surviving
show examples
. With
this
in mind, there is no doubt that if the state decides to reserve more of their budgets for education,
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
people
will end up falling into the vicious world of
crime
. To conclude from the aforementioned discussion, the overwhelming evidence seems to suggest that imparting knowledge to citizens will allow us to monitor the
crime
rates more effectively than sending them to prisons for trivial matters.
Submitted by sihongwang on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: