IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In some countries people spend long hours at work. Why does this happen? Is it positive or negative development

#countries #people #hours #work #happen #development
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As the world is rapidly developing towards new job markets,
people
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 have to spend more
time
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 with their
work
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, and most employers name it as working overtime.
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However
Add a comma
,However
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this
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 is happening because of two main reasons, poor self-management and
people
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 having to compete with the new trends. I believe
this
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 is a negative development and the following essay will
further
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 elaborate. To commence with, today employers and employees have
work
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 to do,
which
Correct word choice
that
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 they cannot complete within the given
time
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 frame, which means there are not enough hours in the working days to complete the
work
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. As a ,result most
people
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work
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 on weekends as well without getting paid or not. To elaborate,
people
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 get into making sicknesses
such
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 as diabetes, high obesity and pressure, which will harm their bodies in the
next
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 few years. To exemplify, one of my friends had to
work
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 on a project but due to poor self-management she could not finish, so she had to stay back nights and weekends. Even though the project was completed successfully, she was suffering from minor health issues. So workers, need to manage their
time
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 effectively and spending long hours at
work
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 will provide them nothing but a cost of living.
In contrast
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, today humans follow social media trends, influencers and other factors. To compete with
people
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 and show off their power, and
luxrious
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luxurious
 lifestyles
people
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work
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 hard day and night as well.
As a result
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 of self-satisfaction for the short
time
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 ,
period
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the period
a period
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 they eventually lose the bond with their family members and
this
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 leads to
a family issues
Correct the article-noun agreement
family issues
a family issue
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. As an example, a person who is successful in a business and leads a wealthy life
,
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apply
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 has some sort of family problems which we cannot see.
Subsequently
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, working longer hours will bring
people
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 negative factors to life. To conclude, I believe that working overtime is a negative development for
people
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's life because
this
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 will cause death-related diseases for
people
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 as well as they will not be able to manage
family
Correct pronoun usage
their family
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 and
work
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.
Submitted by wathsala.lekamge1997 on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • prevalent
  • economic pressures
  • financial stability
  • competitive job markets
  • corporate cultures
  • stigma
  • demonstrate dedication
  • advent of technology
  • blurred the lines
  • accelerated career progression
  • dedicated employee
  • significant negative implications
  • stress levels
  • mental health
  • physical health
  • social and family time
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • flexible working hours
  • work-life balance
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