In some countries people spend long hours at work. Why does this happen? Is it positive or negative development

As the world is rapidly developing towards new job markets,
people
have to spend more
time
with their
work
, and most employers name it as working overtime.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
this
is happening because of two main reasons, poor self-management and
people
having to compete with the new trends. I believe
this
is a negative development and the following essay will
further
elaborate. To commence with, today employers and employees have
work
to do,
which
Correct word choice
that
show examples
they cannot complete within the given
time
frame, which means there are not enough hours in the working days to complete the
work
. As a ,result most
people
work
on weekends as well without getting paid or not. To elaborate,
people
get into making sicknesses
such
as diabetes, high obesity and pressure, which will harm their bodies in the
next
few years. To exemplify, one of my friends had to
work
on a project but due to poor self-management she could not finish, so she had to stay back nights and weekends. Even though the project was completed successfully, she was suffering from minor health issues. So workers, need to manage their
time
effectively and spending long hours at
work
will provide them nothing but a cost of living.
In contrast
, today humans follow social media trends, influencers and other factors. To compete with
people
and show off their power, and
luxrious
Correct your spelling
luxurious
lifestyles
people
work
hard day and night as well.
As a result
of self-satisfaction for the short
time
,
period
Add an article
the period
a period
show examples
they eventually lose the bond with their family members and
this
leads to
a family issues
Correct the article-noun agreement
family issues
a family issue
show examples
. As an example, a person who is successful in a business and leads a wealthy life
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
has some sort of family problems which we cannot see.
Subsequently
, working longer hours will bring
people
negative factors to life. To conclude, I believe that working overtime is a negative development for
people
's life because
this
will cause death-related diseases for
people
as well as they will not be able to manage
family
Correct pronoun usage
their family
show examples
and
work
.
Submitted by wathsala.lekamge1997 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • prevalent
  • economic pressures
  • financial stability
  • competitive job markets
  • corporate cultures
  • stigma
  • demonstrate dedication
  • advent of technology
  • blurred the lines
  • accelerated career progression
  • dedicated employee
  • significant negative implications
  • stress levels
  • mental health
  • physical health
  • social and family time
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • flexible working hours
  • work-life balance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: