IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that the Earth is being harmed (damaged) by human activity. Others feel that human activity makes the Earth a better place to live. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #earth #activity #place
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Since
the
Correct article usage
apply
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human arrival on earth,
people
Use synonyms
 have made many changes in their environment in order to live a good life.
However
Linking Words
 some believe that human activities make the world a better habitat,
others
Correct word choice
while others
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 say that the earth has been damaged by
people
Use synonyms
. From my point of view, I feel that We
humans
Add the comma(s)
, humans,
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 are causing
a
Remove the article
apply
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huge harm to the globe. On the one hand, it is undeniable that today's developed world is the result of the efforts of humans from generation to generation.
Linking Words
Otherwise
Add a comma
,Otherwise
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 we would have lived in the cave and eaten the raw foods.Now we have advanced machines and our life seems more comfortable than before.Many important inventions have been made over these years namely
computer
Change the article
the computer
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,electricity,fast cars,
airplanes
Change the spelling
aeroplanes
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 etc which has made the whole globe smaller and to our reach. Time and distance
has
Change the verb form
have
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 been reduced by the human struggle and the knowledge we have acquired
in
Change preposition
over
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years
Correct article usage
the years
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.These were some barriers
of
Change preposition
in
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 our life that we have broken in past years.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in rural
areas
Add a comma
,areas
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 new industries and cities are being built by
people
Use synonyms
 to live a modern lifestyle which leads to a problem named deforestation.
In other words
Linking Words
, urbanization created many deserts.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
,Also
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people
Use synonyms
 use unfit vehicles to travel.Those industries and vehicles
emits
Change the verb form
emit
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 a large amount of carbon dioxide which is known as
the
Correct article usage
apply
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greenhouse gas.Due to deforestation these gasses could not be absorbed by the trees and
ends
Wrong verb form
ended
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 up damaging the earth's one of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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most important surface
layer
Fix the agreement mistake
layers
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,
Ozone
Add an article
the Ozone
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 layer.Because of
that
Add a comma
,that
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the
Correct article usage
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dangerous ultraviolet ray enters the globe very easily which can be a great threat to our mankind.
Thus
Linking Words
, one or two of the basic activities can lead to a great problem. In conclusion, even though human beings struggle to make the world a better place for survival, some claim that it harms natural resources and I totally agree with them.
Submitted by samsulislam43.si on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainability
  • renewable resources
  • carbon footprint
  • conservation
  • ecology
  • emissions
  • fossil fuels
  • greenhouse gases
  • habitat destruction
  • industrialization
  • pollutants
  • recycling
  • urbanization
  • deforestation
  • ecosystem
What to do next:
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