IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that the Earth is being harmed (damaged) by human activity. Others feel that human activity makes the Earth a better place to live. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #earth #activity #place
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Although
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 thought that the
world
Use synonyms
 is being harmed because of human performances, other
people
Use synonyms
 do not agree with
this
Linking Words
 they feel
like
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
human actions make the earth a better place to live in.In my
Opinion
Fix capitalization
opinion
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,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 feel that human activities are very useful for the globe. On the one hand,
technology
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 is one of
them
Correct pronoun usage
those
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that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 on earth
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are doing various things to improve the quality of the
world
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. By using
technology
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people
Use synonyms
 are able to progress in medicine,
education
Correct word choice
and education
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.
Human
Fix the agreement mistake
Humans
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 are coming out of isolation. Being able to discover new information the wonder of innovation is coming to the arts,human are benefiting the
world
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 in social, political, economic and all aspects through information
technology
Use synonyms
. Recently
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 are improving globalization with information
technology
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 as nearly 95%of the
Use synonyms
world
Change noun form
world's
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 educational institutions have introduced computers.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,the
world
Use synonyms
 is creating new factories for the work done by man.
First
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 of all,the area is being by cutting down trees to build the factory, the amount of oxygen is decreasing and the carbon dioxide is increasing,
secondly
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 the fumes of the factories polluting the environment,
thirdly
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 there is a shortage of safe water due to the contamination of the water by waste materials of the factories. I remember,
for example
Linking Words
, 27
people
Use synonyms
 died in our area in 2019 due to toxic gas from the factory. In conclusion,
which
Correct word choice
while
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 may vary in their opinions,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think that globalization is doing more good than bad
as a result
Linking Words
 of human activities.
Submitted by samsulislam43.si on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainability
  • renewable resources
  • carbon footprint
  • conservation
  • ecology
  • emissions
  • fossil fuels
  • greenhouse gases
  • habitat destruction
  • industrialization
  • pollutants
  • recycling
  • urbanization
  • deforestation
  • ecosystem
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