IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of High School programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #service #part #school #programmes #charity #neighborhood #sports #children
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It is the perception of some people that it should be a requirement for high school
students
Use synonyms
 to participate in any social work without pay. Community work is an integral part of flourished societies. I accept that there are clear benefits of
this
Linking Words
 public service but I believe that it is too early for teenagers to perform
such
Linking Words
 tasks. On the one hand, helping others who are in need has a plethora of constructive outcomes.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it is very beneficial for the welfare of society because if juveniles engage themselves in the well-being of others
then
Linking Words
 it will motivate many adults to follow them which will lead to a healthy community.
Secondly
Linking Words
, a sense of responsibility will be created in youngsters at a very early age in
this
Linking Words
 way they could become civilized members of a country
for example
Linking Words
, in different schools in Pakistan,
students
Use synonyms
 contribute themselves in organizing different stalls to raise money for orphanages and many select
this
Linking Words
 as an occupation and help society in broader ways. In short, it is necessary for the betterment of humans.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are a few drawbacks to any community service program for teenagers. Fundamentally, it is the phase of life in which pupils need to have more focus on their studies
instead
Linking Words
 of extra-curricular activities as their future depends on their performance in the whole academic year and it is a very critical time for their studies.
Moreover
Linking Words
, free welfare work can cause low enthusiasm in younger minds, if they are not getting any monetary payments in return
then
Linking Words
 they will get bored
from
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their voluntary jobs very quickly.
For instance
Linking Words
, many
students
Use synonyms
 do not perform
good
Change the adjective
well
show examples
 in
such
Linking Words
 kinds of assignments in Government schools of Lahore and get
a low grades
Correct the article-noun agreement
low grades
a low grade
show examples
 in them. In conclusion, despite the advantages of voluntary jobs, in my opinion, there is good ground for rejecting the view due to its compulsion at the early age of
students
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by mairaakram28 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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