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Band 5

Writing Topic 2- Shops should give preference in selling local food rather than imported food. Do you agree or disagree?

#topic #shops #food
It is often argued that selling national
food
 should have priority
instead
 of imported
food
. I
completed
Replace the word
completely
show examples
 agree with
this
 statement,
therefore
, in
this
 essay, I will explain why the
food
that is
selling
Wrong verb form
sold
show examples
 in a
country
 should be
Change the adjective
locally
show examples
local
Replace the word
locally
show examples
 made.
To begin
 with, selling
food
that is
 made in a local
country
 can have
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
 benefits for the nation and for
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 internal economy.
Besides
, helps to create more
employments
Fix the agreement mistake
employment
show examples
 and improve industries considerably.
For instance
, the workforce that
it
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 needed to extract the raw material for the
food
 will increase,
hence
 the opportunities for the
food
 industries and employment will increase. Another significant aspect that should
be acknowledge
Change the verb form
be acknowledged
show examples
 relates to the national union. Selling and purchasing local
food
 can helps to enhance the cultural feeling of a
country
 and their citizens can identify
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a better way. The
food
 of a nation is an identity for all
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 inhabitants, showing
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the world their traditions and customs.
For example
, it is well known that Peruvian
food
 is one the best
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the world and their people can show the excellent qualities they have to others.
In contrast
, in a world more globalized the prices for the material and resources to make
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
food
 in another
country
 could be cheaper.
Nevertheless
, most of the time
this
is relates
Change the verb form
is related
show examples
 to unfair payment and bad conditions
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
to the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
workers. To conclude, in spite of the fact that buying resources in foreign countries could be cheaper, it is without a doubt
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
more convenient to prepare local
food
 to
improving
Change the verb form
improve
show examples
 the economy of a
country
 and their traditions.
Submitted by ealvaradodlf on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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