Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

#people #video #games #fun #tool #videos #effect

It is true that many people and children love playing

video

games

. Some people

harbor

Change the spelling

harbour

show examples

a belief that these

games

can have a positive effect on users, while others hold

the

Correct article usage

show examples

reserve

Replace the word

reserved

show examples

viewpoint. From my perspective, they are more likely to have a harmful impact. On the one hand,

video

games

can be both entertaining and educational. Users and gamers can be included in a visual world which is more enthusiastic and engaging than real-life activities. From an

education

Replace the word

educational

show examples

perspective, these

games

can encourage resourcefulness and creativity, as well as concentration and logical thinking.

Moreover

, these

video

games

can afford a source of income.

For example

, Faker, who is a famous gamer of League of

Legend

Fix the agreement mistake

Legends

show examples

, was paid almost 6 million dollars per year and by just playing

games

he took on the role of supporting the entire family.

Nonetheless

, I would quarrel that

these assistance

Change the determiner

this assistance

show examples

were

Correct subject-verb agreement

was

show examples

outweighed by the obstacles. Playing

video

games

could be remarkably addictive because users are pursuing the scores, new targets, new missions and new records to keep players playing.

In addition

, children

who

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

are efficiently fascinated by

colors

Change the spelling

colours

show examples

and selected graphics in these

games

. They will spend hours each trying to through all the chapters of the game.

This

could have effects on the ranking of children at school, they could sleep or have trouble concentrating on the lectures of teachers.

Furthermore

, they could not

not

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

get high scores or even lose various soft skills by spending

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

little time on the computer or console.

This

resulted in unemployment and loss in terms of what they

want

Wrong verb form

wanted

show examples

for their personal life. In conclusion,

although

potential

Correct article usage

the potential

show examples

dangers of

video

games

are significant,

games

also

have sundry conclusive on social life.

Submitted by trminhchau27 on Fri Nov 18 2022

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

285 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

Fully explain your ideas

Due to globalization, many countries lose their traditions and national values. Some people think it is the responsibility of governments to protect these values. Do you agree or disagree?

Should the government fund the education and healthcare system? What is your opinion?

İn many countries, the tradition of having family meals together is disappearing. Why is happening? What will the effects of this be on the family and society?

With the increasing number of people in cities most don't know their neighbours and the sense of community e is lost what is causing this how can we will turn it around