The personal information of many individuals is held by large internet companies and organisations. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#information #individuals #internet #companies #organisations #outweigh

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As we live in the era of modernized technologies there have been founded many huge internet companies that make everyone's life easier and better.

However

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, for several

reasons

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reasons,

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companies have private information about individuals. It seems to me that the drawbacks outweigh its benefits. I will analyze both aspects in detail with relevant examples. On the one hand, there are many merits of exercise that should be mentioned. First of all, regarding personal information

such

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as age, sex or job some corporations may suggest presumable products that you have been looking for or desiring.

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, some of them may offer discounts or special programmes that either the company or the authorities have launched.

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, social networks like Facebook or Instagram have ample advertisements where a person can find any data in their interests undoubtedly.

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according to

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their customer's demands and feelings about companies' service, they may consider customer interests and advice.

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, there have been some benefits of whether corporations hold private facts about consumers or not. The demerits

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apply

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its

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can not be disregarded in

this

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case. One of the main drawbacks is that some scammers may avail of unawareness of citizens in order to earn some money or just plunder someone's budget.

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, any company or its employees may sell intimate data to others without any sympathy.

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, nowadays citizens of every country get messages or calls from deceivers who pretend like an employee of popular organisations and inform them of truthless news.

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, it is indeed convenient for people to receive good offers but most humans can be annoyed and irritated by direct messages, calls or advertisements that the other side proposes.

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, mostly personal info can be misused for specific goals without getting any permission from the consumers. To tackle

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issue the government should take precautionary measures.

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, the demerits of letting networking apps use confidential data are far more than the merits.

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, as far as I am concerned, despite the fact that there are several pivotal advantages of using confidential facts, disadvantages have crucial impacts on human life. Mainly, the authorities have to impose special laws and programmes to raise awareness and financial literacy.

Submitted by inkarerbakytkyzy on Fri Nov 18 2022

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coherence cohesion

The introduction lacks a clear thesis statement and fails to fully address the prompt. The conclusion should summarize the main points and present a clear position. Ensure that each paragraph supports the main argument, and use transitions to connect ideas effectively.

task achievement

The response provides a somewhat incomplete answer to the prompt, and the argument is not fully developed. Ensure that the essay fully addresses the advantages and disadvantages of internet companies holding personal information, and provide a clear position with well-supported reasoning.

14
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

365 words

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The personal information of many individuals is held by large internet companies and organisations. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self- employed?

Some people believe that it is the residents that are responsible for the cleaning nd tidying the streets . While others believe it is the responsibility of government . Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Opinion Some people think that family members are more important than friends, what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that it is necessary to travel to learn about other countries. Others feel same can be learnt through TV and internet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.