The personal information of many individuals is held by large internet companies and organisations. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
As we live in the era of modernized technologies there have been founded many huge internet companies that make everyone's life easier and better.
However
, for several reasons
companies have private information about individuals. It seems to me that the drawbacks outweigh its benefits. I will analyze both aspects in detail with relevant examples.
On the one hand, there are many merits of exercise that should be mentioned. First of all, regarding personal information Add a comma
reasons,
such
as age, sex or job some corporations may suggest presumable products that you have been looking for or desiring. Besides
, some of them may offer discounts or special programmes that either the company or the authorities have launched. For instance
, social networks like Facebook or Instagram have ample advertisements where a person can find any data in their interests undoubtedly. Also
, according to
their customer's demands and feelings about companies' service, they may consider customer interests and advice.Thus
, there have been some benefits of whether corporations hold private facts about consumers or not.
The demerits of
Change preposition
apply
its
can not be disregarded in Correct pronoun usage
apply
this
case. One of the main drawbacks is that some scammers may avail of unawareness of citizens in order to earn some money or just plunder someone's budget. In addition
, any company or its employees may sell intimate data to others without any sympathy. For example
, nowadays citizens of every country get messages or calls from deceivers who pretend like an employee of popular organisations and inform them of truthless news. Secondly
, it is indeed convenient for people to receive good offers but most humans can be annoyed and irritated by direct messages, calls or advertisements that the other side proposes. Thirdly
, mostly personal info can be misused for specific goals without getting any permission from the consumers. To tackle this
issue the government should take precautionary measures.Hence
, the demerits of letting networking apps use confidential data are far more than the merits.
To sum up
, as far as I am concerned, despite the fact that there are several pivotal advantages of using confidential facts, disadvantages have crucial impacts on human life. Mainly, the authorities have to impose special laws and programmes to raise awareness and financial literacy.Submitted by inkarerbakytkyzy on
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coherence cohesion
The introduction lacks a clear thesis statement and fails to fully address the prompt. The conclusion should summarize the main points and present a clear position. Ensure that each paragraph supports the main argument, and use transitions to connect ideas effectively.
task achievement
The response provides a somewhat incomplete answer to the prompt, and the argument is not fully developed. Ensure that the essay fully addresses the advantages and disadvantages of internet companies holding personal information, and provide a clear position with well-supported reasoning.