Many old buildings are protected by laws because they are part of a nation's history. However, some people think they should be knocked down to make way for new ones because people need houses and offices. How important is it to maintain old buildings? Should history stand in the way of progress?

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There are controversial perspectives heating debate over old buildings

together with

Linking Words

progress

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While

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some claim that it is necessary to preserve ancient construction, the opposite makes a statement that history should not hold back the way of

progress

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. Whilst each has its own perks, I would contend that it is optimal to combine both mentioned factors. Without a shadow of a doubt, long-standing structures play

such

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a paramount significant role in life. The explanation for

this

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could be that they are able to encourage cultural identity in the nation.

For instance

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, The Temple of The Literature which is the first university in Vietnam not only bridges the past and the present but

also

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reminds people of ancestral connection.

Moreover

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, when visiting there, people are provoked

their

Change preposition

by their

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national patriotism and gain a comprehensive understanding of heritage.

While

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the redeeming features of antiquated edifices are widely acknowledged, it is unfair if those of

progress

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are ignored. History should not be sacrificed for the sake of

progress

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because houses and offices can improve the national economy.

This

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is probably because it is capable of attracting thousands of tourists, either domestic travellers or outbound tourists.

Furthermore

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, it generates local economic opportunities.

For example

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, Thang Long Citadel serves as a tourist attraction which sells tickets for visitors to drop in and understand more of Vietnam's history.

This

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leads to hiring numerous employees ranging from students to adults, which enhances their lives. In conclusion, age-old construction should be conserved but it should not set back the way of

progress

Use synonyms

hominhtrang995Tue Mar 19 2024

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Task Achievement

Your essay provides a balanced view and addresses both sides of the argument, which is crucial for a high score in Task Response. However, to further improve, make sure to directly answer the question in the introduction and reiterate your stance in the conclusion for a stronger impact.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which aids in logical structuring. To enhance Coherence and Cohesion further, use a wider variety of cohesive devices (e.g., besides, in addition, nonetheless) and ensure paragraphs flow smoothly from one idea to the next.

Task Achievement

You provided specific examples to support your points, which is great for Task Achievement. To improve, consider expanding on these examples with more detail or including personal reflections on why these examples are significant, to deepen the analysis and engagement with the topic.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

253 words

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Many old buildings are protected by laws because they are part of a nation's history. However, some people think they should be knocked down to make way for new ones because people need houses and offices. How important is it to maintain old buildings? Should history stand in the way of progress?

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Some people believe that professional, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training . Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both there views and give your own opinion.

Most high level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 percent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree?

Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attraction.To what extend do you agree or disagree.

In many countries, the rate of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with this?

‏ ‏Children today spend more time watching television than they did in the ‏past. Describe some of the advantages and disadvantages of television ‏for children. ‏