More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem?

Nowadays tons of wild
animals
are on the verge of extinction and others are
also
on the endangered list. The main cause of these is mankind and illegal hunting.
However
, including laws passed by the government and nationwide campaigns can solve
this
Problem.
To begin
with, overpopulation has caused humans to encroach on land, which now mankind takes up more and more area and
due to
this
animals
lose their natural habitats.
For instance
, in the deforestation of the Amazon, a total of 23 birds and other species were extinct.
Secondly
, illegal hunting is the other most prominent reason for animal extinction.
Moreover
, people hunt
animals
for recreational activities and for their skin.
For example
, most circuses
running
Wrong verb form
are run
show examples
by wild
animals
. Some solutions can be adapted to improve the situation. First and foremost, including laws passed by the government in the
parliment
Correct your spelling
parliament
against illegal hunting.
Then
it would restrict people from killing wild
animals
.
For example
, Asia countries passed a law to protect the indigenous
deers
Fix the agreement mistake
deer
show examples
, and it helped to save native
deers
Fix the agreement mistake
deer
show examples
.
In addition
, the local authorities should launch nationwide campaigns to sensitise people about the importance of conserving wildlife, so that there can be an improvement in the number of younger ones. In conclusion, mankind and illegal hunting are the main
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
for
this
decline in the wildlife population worldwide.
However
, the government passes laws and nationwide campaigns can solve
this
problem.
Submitted by samsulislam43.si on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
The essay partially addresses the task, but lacks clear development and coherence.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay includes some basic linking words, but the overall coherence and cohesion could be improved with more effective use of paragraphing and organization.
Lexical Resource
The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary and could benefit from the use of more precise and varied lexical resources.
Grammatical Range
The essay contains a variety of sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that affect overall clarity and precision.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: