Some people think that government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

A part of the population considers the government as the reason for an increase in obesity in young adults. Overall it has negative implications on health.
This
essay supports more of the causes of disease as genetics and unmonitored parental control before the government’s impacts. Genetics is the primary cause of fatness among the majority of teenagers.Genes are scientifically believed to be passed down from generation to generation. meanwhile results in stressful situations as kids end up being bullied and being body shamed in the community. An example of young people who committed suicide in Zimbabwe due to failure of managing chubbiness stress. ,Secondunmonitored regular parental control leads to a hike in outsize in their heirs. Guardians spend less quality time with their families to monitor their diet. As a
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
result children consume junk foods. overweight causes health difficulties and other complicated diseases encompassing increased blood pressure. That said , the government’s poor public energy services lead to a sharp surge in pudgy, which means smaller adults regularly visit the hospitals to be diagnosed early for chubbiness and be educated on the ways of prevention. In conclusion, there are various reasons leading to an escalation in obesity in young people which include genetics, uncontrolled behaviours for consuming junk food and the government’s policies on strength. The government ought to educate schools about healthy diets. It should improve public well-being services so that they can easily be accessed.
Submitted by sithembinkosimandunguza64 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • policies
  • responsibility
  • health and well-being
  • education and awareness programs
  • childhood obesity
  • food advertising and labeling
  • unhealthy food
  • supportive environments
  • recreational facilities
  • collaboration
  • healthcare providers
What to do next:
Look at other essays: