IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

One major problem faced by large cities is traffic congestion. What do you think the causes are? What solutions can you suggest?

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Traffic
Use synonyms
 bottleneck is a majority issue confronted by megacities. There are two main causes, numerous populations in big cities and the increasing number of new cars. Possible solutions would be a government investment in the development of infrastructure in small towns, which can, in the long run, enable residents to access public transportation. With that,
this
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 issue is expected to be reduced. One of the reasons for
traffic
Use synonyms
 jams in the major city is the massive population living in a big city, as it usually provides a variety of facilities,
such
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 as shopping malls and business centres.
As a result
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, people around the nation move to the metropolis and settle there, which
consequently
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 impacts growth in the transport
volume
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.
For example
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, residents from regional areas are moving to Sydney, and a vast amount of them work in the central business district in the morning which is necessary for them to transport from home to office. With that, it creates a high
volume
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 of movement. To tackle
this
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 point the government should invest in infrastructure development for small towns, which includes distributed business centres and public transportation. Another problem causing movement blockage that needs to be considered is individuals can buy a new car easily, which increases the numerous of vehicles on the road.
Consequently
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,
this
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 can create a high
volume
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 of flow on the road, which contributes to 25% of
traffic
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 jams. One possible solution is the
authority
Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
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 should raise taxes on those individuals who drive personal cars to the centre of town.
This
Linking Words
 solution is currently used by some nations,
for instance
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, Singapore, which is the key to decreasing the
volume
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 of movement in the core of a city. In conclusion,
traffic
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 blockage is a primary problem because of massive populations and an increase in new cars. The authority needs to invest in the infrastructure construction program in regional areas and promote personal transportation tax policies. Unless
this
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 problem is tackled soon, the issue of
traffic
Use synonyms
 congestion will lead to a higher
volume
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, which impact on the daily life of populaces.

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Task Achievement
To further improve, expanding on the solutions with detailed examples and implications can make the argument stronger.
Coherence & Cohesion
Consider diversifying your sentence structures to enhance readability and engagement.
Task Achievement
Make sure to directly address all parts of the prompt in your conclusion for a well-rounded argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction clearly sets the stage for the discussion, effectively introducing the topic.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use of topic-specific vocabulary adds depth to your argument.
Task Achievement
Providing specific examples, such as the situation in Sydney and Singapore, strengthens your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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