Some people argue that the government should spend money only on medical care and education but not on theaters or sports stadiums. Do you agree or disagree?

There are controversial perspectives heating up a debate over whether the government should invest in healthcare and tuition fees. While some hold a strong view that the state should only fund those, the opposite makes a statement that the authority should
also
spend on the entertainment industry. While each has its own perks, I would contend that it is optimal to combine both mentioned factors. Without a shadow of a doubt, funding the medical and schooling
system
is of paramount significance. Both of them are the backbone industries of any developed
nation
because providing financial support allows every citizen to get access to a learning journey and enjoy services from top-notch hospitals, which can bring
high-quality
Correct article usage
a high-quality
show examples
workforce and divine health for the development of the
nation
.
For instance
, Germany, which uses the national budget to abolish tuition fees and
covers
Correct subject-verb agreement
cover
show examples
the cost of the medical
system
in the form of insurance, is one of the most developed countries in the world.
Thus
, both factors should be invested
by
Change preposition
in by
show examples
the state. While the essence of investing money in the medical and schooling
system
is widely acknowledged, it is unfair if the governors ignore funding for the entertainment industry. Investing in
theaters
Change the spelling
theatres
show examples
and sports stadiums
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
our
nation
attract tourists for the development of the country.
For instance
, in Korea, there is a Black Pink concert which attracts millions of people from every corner of the world.
Hence
, it can help the economy develop more rapidly.
Thus
, funding
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
two elements is of
Correct your spelling
fundamental
fundemental
Correct your spelling
fundamental
. To sum up, the health care and schooling
system
are the backbone industries of any
nation
but the state should
also
fund the entertainment industry.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: