IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport.

#countries #people #sums #money #railway #lines #trains #cities #transport
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In some countries across the globe, many individuals perceive that it is obligatory to devote a huge amount of money
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 building new railway lines for better and faster
trains
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, some
poople
Correct your spelling
people
 reckon that
this
Linking Words
 money should be dedicated to existing means of transportation in order to enrich their qualities.I personally believe that
both
Use synonyms
 of these points are rational and I will expand on
both
Use synonyms
 views in the following paragraphs.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, it is considerably noticeable that railway lines are one of the most preponderant sections of any city. In every community, existing, public transports are not up-to-date. So, they are risky and harder to monitor.
For instance
Linking Words
, old
trains
Use synonyms
' GPS does not work as accurately as the new ones. If the train stops somewhere, It can be hard to find it. The second point of view says that societies should upgrade the old and available means of transportation in order to reduce the level of risk for citizens.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are various types of new public transportation with high-tech features.
People
Use synonyms
 who are living in modern society are not satisfied and they intend to experience the latest version of anything. It is obvious that new railways and
trains
Use synonyms
 can enrich
people
Use synonyms
's quality of life.
For example
Linking Words
, faster
trains
Use synonyms
 can be considerably crucial for
people
Use synonyms
 who have lots of work to do.
People
Use synonyms
 are more comfortable in new
trains
Use synonyms
 in comparison with the existing ones.
As a result
Linking Words
, they are ready to pay more and it is beneficial for the government as well.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
both
Use synonyms
 of the notions are worth Paying attention
from
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the governments. I myself deem that
administers
Replace the word
administrators
show examples
 should dedicate money to
both
Use synonyms
 new and existing public transport.
Submitted by mohammadhoseineghlidos on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure
  • efficient
  • congestion
  • sustainable
  • environmentally friendly
  • connectivity
  • economic growth
  • public transportation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: