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Writing Samples
Band 3

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#say #opportunity
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Having an abundance of fortune totally has a lot of advantages. One of them is being able to be more philanthropic. I personally agree with
this
 statement and will try to explain the reasons.
Firstly
, being rich means you would have to consider less about your daily and obligatory expenses,
such
 as food, taxes, electricity, and so on. Those primary necessities will already be covered and
hence
 it is easier to sympathize with others who haven't fulfilled their primary needs and eventually help them.
Secondly
, to have a lot of money means you are more privileged to decide on your action or
life
 choices. When you can do almost everything with your money for your
life
, you would want to do something with other
people
's
life
 using your money and hopefully,
affecting
Wrong verb form
affect
show examples
 other
people
's
life
Replace the word
lives
show examples
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
intention
Fix the agreement mistake
intentions
show examples
 by lifting their condition up. Even though the alternative of being rich could bring some
down side
Correct your spelling
downside
show examples
 to a human being
such
 as
apathetical
Correct your spelling
apathetic
apathetically
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 towards other
people
 and numbness to care about other
people
 because the rich
already
Add a missing verb
are already
show examples
 being indulged by lavishness. To sum up my opinion, I believe being rich is a tool
as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 an opportunity to help those in need. There is nothing more important
for
Change preposition
about
show examples
 being rich than to have the power to help others.
Submitted by tamarayunike on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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