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Some people believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old.Others believe that it is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible.What do you think are the advantages of attending school from a young age?

#people #children #home #six #seven #years #school #age
I think so ,the man must do
that activities
Change the determiner
that activity
those activities
show examples
what
Correct word choice
that
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need the level of
age
.Every
age
 has its' demands and for full evolution ,and healthy growth people must pass every level well. I am more inclined to think that
children
 should be allowed to stay at home or go to
Correct your spelling
kindergarten
kindergarden
Correct your spelling
kindergarten
.They must be developed by interesting and intellectual games,if there are opportunities ,they should be given to
Correct your spelling
kindergarten
kindergarden
Correct your spelling
kindergarten
 or play with them more as possible,because the games give
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
 mind and straight physical evolution,they will imagine the world better.
However
children
 have unique possibilities to learn faster than elders ,but in my humble opinion,
nevertheless
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,nevertheless
show examples
 it isn't true to make hard
children
's life before
school's
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school
show examples
age
.I consider that the optimal
age
 for
children
take
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takes
show examples
 to school is six or seven years old.As far as I imagine
to take
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taking
show examples
school
Add an article
the school
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 from
young
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a young
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age
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is disadvantages
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disadvantages
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,because it may
consequances
Correct your spelling
consequences
consequence
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 having
unhealthy
Correct article usage
an unhealthy
show examples
 future society,as
Correct your spelling
today's
todays
Change to a genitive case
today's
show examples
children
 are our future and we must keep them well and do everything in
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
time.
Submitted by khnkoyansos on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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