IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Food travels thousands of miles from farm to consumers. Some people believe we should buy food from the local farmers to protect environment and support local businesses. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#food #thousands #miles #farm #consumers #people #farmers #environment #support #businesses #outweigh
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Food
 transportation over long distances, from farms to
consumers
, has become a common practice in today's globalized world.
However
, there is an ongoing debate about whether we should prioritize buying
food
 from local
farmers
 to protect the environment and support local businesses.
This
 essay will discuss whether the advantages of
this
 approach outweigh the disadvantages. Buying
food
 from local
farmers
 offers several benefits.
Firstly
, it reduces the carbon footprint associated with long-distance transportation, contributing to environmental preservation.
Additionally
, supporting local
farmers
 helps maintain the vitality of local economies by promoting small-scale agriculture and fostering community connections.
Moreover
, locally sourced
food
 is often fresher and more nutritious, as it can be harvested at its peak and reaches
consumers
 more quickly.
However
, there are potential drawbacks to consider. Local
farmers
 may face limitations in terms of the variety and quantity of
food
 they can produce, especially in regions with challenging climates or limited arable land. Relying solely on local agriculture could lead to higher prices or
food
 shortages in certain areas.
Furthermore
, not all
consumers
 may have access to diverse
food
 options if they solely rely on local produce. In conclusion,
while
 buying
food
 from local
farmers
 offers clear advantages, it is important to weigh them against potential disadvantages. Supporting local agriculture can contribute to environmental sustainability and local economies
while
 providing fresher and more nutritious
food
.
However
, it is crucial to ensure that local production can meet the demand and diverse dietary needs of the population. Striking a balance between local and global
food
 systems could be a more pragmatic approach, ensuring both environmental and economic sustainability
while
 providing
consumers
 with a range of choices.
Submitted by callachan8 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Task Achievement: Your response addresses the prompt, but you may benefit from providing more detailed examples to support your points. Additionally, your essay should consider all parts of the question, such as discussing specific advantages and disadvantages more thoroughly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: Your essay has a reasonable flow, but some ideas could be linked more naturally. Consider utilizing a range of cohesive devices and clearer topic sentences to enhance the logical structure of your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: