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Band 3

In the future, it may be scientifically possible for people to live for 150 years. This could be good for individuals but it may have negative consequences for society. What are the benefits and risks of people living to 150

#future #people #years #individuals #consequences #society #risks
First
 of all, I need
study
Fix the infinitive
to study
show examples
 to get
me
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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out of the “Tang Ping” lifestyle. Indeed, I have a stable and relatively easy job now,
decent
Add an article
a decent
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 paycheck, respectable social status, and most importantly,
a
Correct article usage
apply
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fairly lessen
workloads
Fix the agreement mistake
workload
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. It’s a career that many Chinese people dream of, a work
of
Change preposition
apply
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“Tang
Correct article usage
the “Tang
show examples
 Ping” lifestyle. If I choose to study again, it means I give up almost everything. I love my job
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 because I do not need to work hard anymore for the rest of my
life
, I
also
 hate
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
my job, because I do not need to work hard anymore for the rest of my
life
. It makes my
life
 easy and happy, and it
also
 deprives my passion for
life
, craving for knowledge, and
pursuing
Replace the word
pursuit
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the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 meaning of
life
. There is an old saying in China, those who do not plan for the future will find trouble at their doorstep（人无远虑必有近忧）. I do not see the troubles right now, but it does not mean they do not exist. Throughout history there are so many instances
showed
Wrong verb form
showing
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 it is too late until the problem reveals, the
fallen
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fall
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of
Change preposition
apply
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Ming Dynasty, the
fallen
Replace the word
fall
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 of Tang Dynasty,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
fallen
Replace the word
fall
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 of Constantinople, their
last
 kings were not fatuous and self-indulgent, but the kingdom ended in their
hand
Fix the agreement mistake
hands
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.
Thus
, I see Management as a
life
-saving straw to put me out of the tepid water and
avoiding
Wrong verb form
avoid
show examples
 my destiny as a boiling frog.
Submitted by baoyiran019 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • longevity
  • life expectancy
  • scientific advancements
  • experience
  • personal goals
  • loved ones
  • knowledge
  • wisdom
  • contributions
  • advancements
  • fear of death
  • appreciation for life
What to do next:
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