IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

People should follow the customs and traditions when people start to live in a new country. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#people #customs #traditions #country
There is a controversial notion heating a debate that immigrants should adapt to new conventions and customs of that country.
However
, I completely agree with
this
 opinion. It is clear that the custom of the country is important to local
people
,
therefore
 newcomers who tend to settle in one bucolic should have knowledge of its tradition. Because if migrants do not know about
this
, they can face some difficult issues or have difficulty
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
integrating with other
people
 which can create a cultural
Correct your spelling
barrier
show examples
barries
Correct your spelling
barrier
show examples
.For
this
 reason, if they do not know about the habit, they may
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
get into the pitfalls
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
Correct your spelling
crime
crimes
crimer
Correct your spelling
crime
.
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, Understanding about laws of
other country
Change the wording
another country
other countries
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 will help foreigners not be punished for falling foul of the law.
For instance
, in
Sigapore
Correct your spelling
Singapore
,
people
 will be fined if they throw trash or litter anywhere.
On the other hand
, there are
also
 many benefits for foreigners to understand new
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
show examples
.One advantage is that they will be more welcomed and increase
sense
Add an article
the sense
a sense
show examples
 of brotherhood.
Additionally
, if the immigrants understand clearly one country’s
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
show examples
, they can
Correct your spelling
easily
easly
Correct your spelling
easily
 take part in
Add an article
the festival
show examples
festival
Fix the agreement mistake
festivals
show examples
 and have
mutual
Add an article
a mutual
show examples
 understanding.
For example
, if they wear
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traditional custom
such
 as
:
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 Ao Dai or Kimono, they will gain more respect from local
people
 and increase the sense of harmony.
Other benefits
Fix the agreement mistake
Another benefit
show examples
 is that they can gain more money from business activities, through understanding their customers which
promote
Correct subject-verb agreement
promotes
show examples
 their
Correct your spelling
products
produts
Correct your spelling
products
 and gain more profit.
Finally
, to
recaptitulate
Correct your spelling
recapitulate
 according to the argument mentioned above it has clearly indicated that,
people
 must follow the habits and the traditions of a new society when they will not live in that nation.
Submitted by oosc.1601 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: