Some argue that patriotism is the primary cause of wars globally. Others feel that it serves to prevent less ethical politicians from running a country and starting wars. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#argue #patriotism #wars #politicians #country

It may be

basic

Add an article

the basic

a basic

show examples

reason that countries are willing to start

war

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a war

the war

show examples

because of historical background. In the past, there were no as

much

Correct quantifier usage

many

show examples

as countries

Change preposition

show examples

present

Add an article

the present

show examples

because

most

Correct article usage

the most

show examples

powerful kingdoms which had

strong

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a strong

show examples

army

Fix the agreement mistake

armies

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and wealthy

treasure

Fix the agreement mistake

treasures

show examples

invaded half of the world.

However

, those kingdoms were separated as time passed and their remains are separate and independent states in

modern

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the modern

show examples

period. So each state has

own

Correct pronoun usage

its own

show examples

reason that other lands to belong

them

Change preposition

to them

show examples

due to past history.

Also

Add a comma

,Also

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cultural, religious and

race

Replace the word

racial

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differences may encourage

people

to protect and continue their heredity among other communities

live

Wrong verb form

living

show examples

same

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the same

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country

which has

wide

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a wide

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range of

nationality

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nationalities

show examples

like India, China,

Russia

Correct word choice

and Russia

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

the other hand,

people

have common futures which link them to their countries even though they have different cultural characteristics. If some politicians are interested to make ethnic disturbances between communities, it would

Change to the active voice

result

have resulted

show examples

resulted

Add the preposition

inresulted

fromresulted

show examples

national war within the

country

. Government tends to keep those

people

in the

country

in order to prevent out of control. Promotions of

country’s

Correct article usage

the country’s

show examples

common values, for

instances

Fix the agreement mistake

instance

show examples

flag

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flags

show examples

hymn

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hymns

show examples

symbols

Correct word choice

and symbols

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make

people

love their homeland and create patriotism for one purpose. In conclusion, I think because

external

Change preposition

of external

show examples

threads and

maintenance

Correct article usage

the maintenance

show examples

independency of

country

Correct article usage

a country

show examples

, patriotism may help

people

to understand their role as

Add an article

a citizen

show examples

citizen

Fix the agreement mistake

citizens

show examples

. But it mustn’t be forgotten that overrated patriotism may crush two parties with each other due to misunderstandings and agreements.

Therefore

humans should balance their feelings toward their motherland and respect others’ values too.

Submitted by zemamikayil on Sat Nov 19 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

245 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

nationalism
xenophobia
aggressive policies
accountability
diplomacy
national unity
ethical political leadership
extreme patriotism
patriotic sentiment
diplomatic solutions
internal conflicts
external conflicts

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Some argue that patriotism is the primary cause of wars globally. Others feel that it serves to prevent less ethical politicians from running a country and starting wars. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

in many countries today, if people want to find a job , they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Other say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema.

Modern technology is now very common in most work places. How do you think this has changed the way we work? Do you think there are disadvantages to relying too much on technology?

In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who are choosing to edcuate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of home education outweigh the disadvantages?

Please elaborate on your current physical and mental health, including any dental or oral treatment, medical interventions, and mental health therapy or counseling.