Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different age and culture together . to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

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Actually, in the entire world,
music
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

represents a way of expressing anything about daily life in different cultures
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

also
Correct word choice
and also

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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is used in religion and social celebrations, from sad events like funerals to the happiest how brides, the organized sounds by humans are the combination of expressions in our evolution. In the
first
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

step, I absolutely agree because since humankind get a hearing sense and could feel nature sounds, experiment with an explosion of some sensations in their brain, since
then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
music
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is the centre of some type
people's
Change preposition
of people's

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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networking,
for example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

when the young boy
try
Change the verb form
tries

The verb try does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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to conquer her school's best friend with help of a romantic song
moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

one couple enjoy with active dance in their
first
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

party, those are the best arguments how the important
are
Change the verb form
is

The verb are does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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the sound and above all the
music
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for humans.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, any society sectors banned some genres of
music
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

with the argument
of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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that is
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

opposite to their religion and traditions. To remember, in the '50s a movement called, Lights Road, attacked a group of younger people and killed two persons with the idea that they
where
Correct your spelling
were

The word where doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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satanic group members. That type of event
are
Change the verb form
is

The verb are does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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so sad and awful but the really bad thing is actually in
2022
Change the article
the 2022

It appears that the article usage before 2022 year is incorrect. Consider making a change.

show examples
year still happens. To conclude, I think that the
first
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

song
Correct your spelling
author
autor
Correct your spelling
author

If you don’t want autor to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

in human history only want express happiness and share that with all the world, and for different
reasons
Add a comma
,reasons

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase for different reasons. Consider adding a comma.

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we make the task of preserving that idea by continuing with the hope and peace beautiful songs.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural understanding
  • Universal language
  • Linguistic barriers
  • Social gatherings
  • Mutual respect
  • Shared experience
  • Generational gap
  • Common ground
  • Inclusivity
  • Diversity
  • Artistic collaboration
  • Emotional connection
  • Transcend
  • Appreciation
  • Foster unity
What to do next:
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