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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different age and culture together . to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

#people #music #age #culture
Actually, in the entire world,
music
 represents a way of expressing anything about daily life in different cultures
also
Correct word choice
and also
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 is used in religion and social celebrations, from sad events like funerals to the happiest how brides, the organized sounds by humans are the combination of expressions in our evolution. In the
first
 step, I absolutely agree because since humankind get a hearing sense and could feel nature sounds, experiment with an explosion of some sensations in their brain, since
then
,
music
 is the centre of some type
people's
Change preposition
of people's
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 networking,
for example
 when the young boy
try
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tries
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 to conquer her school's best friend with help of a romantic song
moreover
 one couple enjoy with active dance in their
first
 party, those are the best arguments how the important
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 the sound and above all the
music
 for humans.
On the other hand
, any society sectors banned some genres of
music
 with the argument
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that is
 opposite to their religion and traditions. To remember, in the '50s a movement called, Lights Road, attacked a group of younger people and killed two persons with the idea that they
where
Correct your spelling
were
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 satanic group members. That type of event
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 so sad and awful but the really bad thing is actually in
2022
Change the article
the 2022
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 year still happens. To conclude, I think that the
first
 song
Correct your spelling
author
autor
Correct your spelling
author
 in human history only want express happiness and share that with all the world, and for different
reasons
Add a comma
,reasons
show examples
 we make the task of preserving that idea by continuing with the hope and peace beautiful songs.
Submitted by edbaezp on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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