One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. D you think the avantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
With the modern developments in the medical industry, the expected
life
Use synonyms
of
people
Use synonyms
has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased considerably, during the
last
Linking Words
few decades and
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
is expected to be continued in the future. There are many social and
Correct your spelling
financial
finnancial
Correct your spelling
financial
consequences of increased
life
Use synonyms
expectancy. By looking into these outcomes I believe that
Correct your spelling
positive
Correct article usage
the possitive
show examples
possitive
Correct your spelling
positive
Replace the word
effects
show examples
affects
Correct your spelling
effects
show examples
outweigh the negative
affects
Correct your spelling
effects
show examples
as described below. On one hand, there are many advantages of increased
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
lifetimes
show examples
life times
Correct your spelling
lifetimes
show examples
of individuals
such
Linking Words
as retaining
experienced
Correct article usage
an experienced
show examples
Correct your spelling
workforce
show examples
work force
Correct your spelling
workforce
show examples
, preserving cultures and facilitating child care. For an instance ,
few
Change the article
a few
show examples
decades back the
life
Use synonyms
expectancy of
people
Use synonyms
vary around 60~65
years
Use synonyms
, and now it has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to 75~80
years
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
average.
As a result
Linking Words
, at
present
Add a comma
,present
show examples
the average retirement age of
people
Use synonyms
is
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
and around 60
years
Use synonyms
.
That is
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
can engage in productive activities for additional 15
years
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, elderly
people
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
good health
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
can look after their
Correct your spelling
grandkids
show examples
grand kids
Correct your spelling
grandkids
show examples
by releasing their
Correct your spelling
parents
patents
partents
Correct your spelling
parents
for work.
This
Linking Words
ensures the
well being
Add a hyphen
well-being
show examples
of
Correct your spelling
grandkids
show examples
grand kids
Correct your spelling
grandkids
show examples
with cultural showers, as well as
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
show examples
the stresses of the young
Correct your spelling
workforce
show examples
work force
Correct your spelling
workforce
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, when
people
Use synonyms
live long lives there is a risk of
Correct your spelling
overpopulation
show examples
over population
Correct your spelling
overpopulation
show examples
. As we all
awar
Correct your spelling
aware
, our planet has limited
resources
Use synonyms
and
increased
Correct article usage
an increased
show examples
population will
Correct your spelling
adversely
adversly
Correct your spelling
adversely
affect
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the available share of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
resources
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, we can overcome
this
Linking Words
issue by exploring new
resources
Use synonyms
and increasing the usage efficiency of the existing
resources
Use synonyms
. To conclude, I strongly believe that the social and financial
Correct your spelling
benefits
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
of increased
life
Use synonyms
expectancy
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
outweigh the negative
Correct your spelling
effects
show examples
affects
Correct your spelling
effects
show examples
of the same as described above.
Submitted by thurecds on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: