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Writing Samples /
Band 4

We live in cities or towns which have museums displaying historical and cultural importance, but people do not visit them. What are the reasons?

#cities #towns #museums #importance #people #visit
Some individuals claim that we are living in a world
that
Correct word choice
where
show examples
 many young people are neglecting
museums
 exhibiting historical and cultural importance.
This
 phenomenon results from the lack of
citizen’s
Change noun form
citizen
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 excitement and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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awareness of each person in maintaining the national cultural identity. After consideration,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 assume that it can be mitigated by inserting more interactive activities and advancing superior facilities in
museums
. A primary reason why people ignore local
museums
 is the poor insightful concept.
In other words
, they only display permanent
artifacts
Change the spelling
artefacts
show examples
, with poor light and high
temperature
Fix the agreement mistake
temperatures
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 inside. That’s why some
museums
 appear to be not aesthetically pleasing and many visitors, including non-locals, find it predictable as the theme is repetitive. Another reason for
this
 issue is because of degraded facilities and poor-quality services. It implies that the money the tourists spend time on
museums
 is not
Correct pronoun usage
itworthy
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worthy
Replace the word
worth
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, they feel
this
 is a predictable experience and lost interest
with
Change preposition
in
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 things that they have already known The consequences
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
 problem are serious. Resultantly, inserting more interactive activities is a necessary feature of preserving historical and cultural values. Having various activities provides the visitors
many
Replace the quantifier
much
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 knowledge,
they
Correct word choice
and they
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 can gain
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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insight
by
Change preposition
through
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 experience. There should be a
tour-guide
Correct your spelling
tour guide
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 to impart while visiting so the tourists can dig deeper
about
Change preposition
into
show examples
 the history and culture more than just
look
Change the verb form
looking
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 through the
artifacts
Change the spelling
artefacts
show examples
.
In addition
, the government should upgrade quality facilities for the
museums
 to ensure the greatest experience for people. Without
this
 solution, there will not be anyone
visit
Wrong verb form
visiting
show examples
 local
museums
 in the future, and the cultural identity will gradually disappear.
Submitted by thanh.jenny on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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