some people think it is more important for government to spend money on promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on the treatment of people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Despite the fact that antagonists claim that
this
character can lead to some problems. In their opinion, a profuse quantity of
discipline
causes a rebellious personality in an individual.
Nevertheless
, the research supports a completely opposite conclusion:
discipline
has a spacious amount of contribution to
students
as well as teachers to manage properly their physical and mental
health
.
Discipline
hones especially teachers to shed stressful scenarios at ease.
This
indicates that the relationship between the stress of the teacher and the
discipline
of
students
is indirectly proportional which means undisciplined
students
such
as drinking drugs and disrespectful behaviour ahead of the instructor trigger the indignation of the teacher. The study conducted by Ferguson, Frost, and Hall (2012) study in Canada shows that student
discipline
proved to be the main factor of depression among teachers. (Kemunto et al., 2021) What’s more, committing everything in a
time
interval retains children’s or adolescent’s
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
healthier and they live in a fit shape.
For example
, after accomplishing homework, some adults allocate a certain range of
time
to engage in sports.
In addition
, the
students
drew attention to the importance of self-
discipline
in terms of physical and mental
health
. The close connection between self-
discipline
and retaining healthy life was underscored in an inordinate number of studies
such
as literature. (Gerdtham, Wengström, & Östervall, 2019; Sirikulchayanonta et al., 2011)
In other words
, if you have self-
discipline
, you have so much remained
time
, after culminating the school or university exercises, to do some exercises in terms of sport for enhancing the functioning of the body. To sum up,
discipline
plays a leading role in the development of both
teacher's
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers'
show examples
and children’s mental and physical
health
. In conclusion, regardless of its shortcomings,
discipline
plays a crucial role in
students
’ academic achievements, occupation, and physical
health
. Being disciplined appears to be one of the characteristics that I would like to notice in myself because it closely attributes to
time
- management and maintaining our
health
.
Moreover
,
discipline
develops
students
as potent figures in their future life and carrier. The predominant property of
discipline
seems to be that it contributes to the strong intended individual to attain his or her objective more properly within the minimum length of
time
.
This
motive emboldens us, including me, to obtain a better carrier.
Furthermore
, the reason why I want to elevate
this
kind of trait appears to be that there is a spacious number of striking merits of
discipline
in the personal life of humans. Of course, the main stage I conceive is that the development of the trait seems to be generating a particular range of
time
corresponding to each activity.
Submitted by unalhuseynli2 on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • promote
  • healthy lifestyle
  • prevent
  • illness
  • treatment
  • public money
  • government expenditure
  • reduce
  • burden
  • healthcare system
  • preventive measures
  • improve
  • well-being
  • invest
  • long-term benefits
  • society
  • necessary care
  • balance
  • address
  • effectively
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