IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Due to globalization, many countries lose their traditions and national values. Some people think it is the responsibility of governments to protect these values. Do you agree or disagree?

Learning about different cultures and
traditions
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 has become effortless
due to
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 globalisation. As communities are losing their own customs and rituals, the
authority
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 should take responsibility and take the lead in finding effective solutions to preserve national
traditions
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 and cultural
values
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. I completely agree that the
authority
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 should introduce regulations to protect traditional
values
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.
Traditions
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 and cultures play a very important role in shaping national identity. If these
values
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 are lost, it will be difficult for the young generation to maintain their uniqueness among other nations.
However
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, if the
authority
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 incorporates some policies in educational centres regarding local
traditions
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, people can preserve these vital
values
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 and rituals.
For example
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, including folk dance competitions and special subjects in schools will allow children to learn about their roots, which can be passed on to the next generation.
In addition
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 to
this
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, local citizens cannot implement rules, but they can bring small changes within their own community. To bring change on a large level, the
authority
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 has the power and resources to pass regulations to protect historical buildings. If these buildings are preserved, they will reflect the cultural differences between nations.
For example
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, the Taj Mahal and Darbar Sahib are important symbols of India, which show a rich cultural heritage. In conclusion, even though globalisation has various advantages, protecting the culture and
traditions
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 of a particular country is essential. The more the preservation of the culture, the easier it becomes for the young generation to learn about it, leading to helping them connect with their roots.

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task response
Answer the prompt with one clear view in the first line. Keep the view the same in all the essay.
task response
Give a stronger reason in the body and add one short point that shows a view you do not agree with and how you would answer it.
coherence
Make the flow smoother by starting each paragraph with a clear topic line and linking each idea to the one before.
coherence
Use small, plain words and shorter sentences to keep good links between ideas.
grammar
Check small errors in grammar and word form to make your text feel more clean.
strength
The writer shows a clear stance that the government should act.
strength
There are real examples like Taj Mahal and Darbar Sahib used to back points.
structure
Intro and conclusion are present and connect with the topic.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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