Some people believe famous people’s support for international aid organizations draw public attention. Others think celebrities reduce the importance of the problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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The
Correct your spelling
Some

The word The doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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individuals think
Correct your spelling
public
publice
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public

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figure
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figures

It seems that figure may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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musn
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must

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take care of the international aid organizations can improve and draw
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

's attention but despite of
all
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of all

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advantages
Add a comma
,advantages

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase despite of all advantages. Consider adding a comma.

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some others believed celebrities can be even harmful
for
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to

The preposition for after the adjective harmful may be incorrect. Consider changing it to another preposition.

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this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

cycle. In my
opinion
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,opinion

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase In my opinion. Consider adding a comma.

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they can be very helpful in
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

way
,
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apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma before the dependent clause marker because. Consider removing the comma.

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because most
of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

try to repeat their legend's
Correct your spelling
behaviours
behvaiours
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behaviour

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and habits.
Due to
Change preposition
The

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

's feelings about
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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celebrities, influencers and public
figure
Fix the agreement mistake
figures

It seems that figure may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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are really positive, and it can have direct relation between emotion and
brain
Correct article usage
the brain

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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. If some of them advertise or support
from
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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any way it can be a huge help for organizations because of the
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

people
Change noun form
people's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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emotion
Fix the agreement mistake
emotions

It seems that emotion may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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exploud
Correct your spelling
explored

If you don’t want exploud to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

and they accept whatever their myth says.
For
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

instance
Add a comma
,instance

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase For instance. Consider adding a comma.

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if Leo Messi (
Best
Correct article usage
The best

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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football player all over the
Correct your spelling
world
wrold
Correct your spelling
world

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and
player
Correct article usage
a player

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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of Argentina and Barcelona FC) tell
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to support
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

charity or help international aid organizations,
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

did it just because of their feeling
to
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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that person and show
they
Correct pronoun usage
their

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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love and respect.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, if that person
doing
Wrong verb form
does

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb doing. Consider changing it.

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a
Correct article usage
the

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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wrong job, or has a mistake, it can be very dangerous because he or she going to be hated by everyone, and the result of it just can be damaging that organization
instead
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

of helping and supporting them.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, if Johny Sins go to Kenya to help sick
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

as a doctor, everyone
hate
Change the verb form
hates

It appears that the indefinite pronoun everyone does not agree with the verb hate in your sentence. Consider changing the form of the verb.

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and
curse
Correct subject-verb agreement
curses

It seems that the verb curse does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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him. To sum up, both side has some positive and negative points, in my view,
firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

using famous
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for
supporting
Replace the word
support

The word supporting doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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is good,
secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they have to find the right person.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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