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Writing Samples
Band 5

Explain some of the ways in which humans are damaging the environment. What do governments do to address these problems? What can individuals do?

#humans #environment #governments #address #individuals
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In the modern century, there are many issues damaging the planet from human nature
such
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 as environmental
problems
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. The essay will discuss both the
government
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 and individuals to address these
problems
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. The first question is to solve gas emissions in the atmosphere from the public authorities.
To begin
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 with, there are several steps that can be taken. The authorities should promote some schemes for the
government
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 to regulate the policies about managing gas emissions.
For instance
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, some researchers said that many developing nations had a large number of industries running, which have grown to over 50% per year for decades.
This
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 resulted in a higher proportion of carbon dioxide being released.
Consequently
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, it has a significant increase to 2-3
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
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celsius
Capitalize word
Celsius
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 per year. That's why I would say the
government
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 should take action to address
this
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 issue. Regarding the second question, its obvious solution is to tackle the environmental
problems
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 during humans plant various trees in the forest. The public communities can supply some campaigns or events about planting
,
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apply
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 and will encourage residents to decorate their living places with a green city.
This
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 results in mitigating a huge amount of CO2 in the atmosphere. Another possible measure is to remind citizens not to take plastic bags
instead
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 of using recycled bags daily.
As a result
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, individuals can measure environmental
problems
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. In a nutshell, following the examples and suggestions above,
although
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 there are many issues harmful to the planet from human nature.
However
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, the
government
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 and individuals can take action to tackle it. I believe it will occur in a peaceful and metropolitan city or country in the future.
Submitted by jimmy.wong.wp on

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task response
The essay partially addresses the task requirements, but lacks clarity and coherence in presenting ideas.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure is adequate. However, the essay lacks coherence and cohesion due to inconsistent use of transitions and a lack of clear connections between sentences and paragraphs.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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