IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

You have a problem with a recently hired employee in your workplace. Write a letter to the HR manager. In your letter: Describe the problem the new employee has caused Explain how other employees about the new employee’s conduct Say how you expect the HR manager to address the situation.

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I hope
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 letter finds you well. I am writing to bring to your attention a matter concerning a recently hired employee named Yusuf ,in our department. Unfortunately, there have been several incidents that have risen among the team. There are two main issues regarding new employee Yousuf, His behaviour with others is very toxic and arrogant and the second problem is that in his CV, he mentioned a lot of skills on which basis he hired in our department but practically he has no any skill regarding
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 field.
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, other colleagues have
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 observed Yusuf’s behaviour and shared similar concerns. The consensus among the team is that he is having a negative impact on our collaborative efforts, and there is a noticeable decline in team cohesion. I trust you will handle
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 matter with the utmost confidentiality and sensitivity. It would be helpful if HR arranged a meeting with Yusuf to discuss the issue at hand and provide guidance on expected workplace behaviour. Your assistance in resolving
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 situation is greatly appreciated. I am looking forward to your prompt response. Your’s sincerely, Shahid

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coherence cohesion
Your letter's structure could be improved by clearly separating the introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph should contain a single idea or issue.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence, consider using more linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
While the task is generally well-answered, providing concrete examples of the new employee's conduct could strengthen your response and give the HR manager clearer insights into the problem.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is mostly appropriate, with a polite and formal manner. However, be cautious with word choice to maintain professionalism throughout.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

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